growing out of gossip

Blogosphere. Well. It's been a while... and well I've needed a little break.

However I’ve found myself recently, as I make a little bumpy landing back into the UK after living overseas for 9 years, needing to share, connect and commune. I'm slowly settling into a big city known as London. Never would I have guessed that this would be my place, I'm already dreading winter, but I am happy to see my old friends, bring all my inspirations home and create a beautiful holistic centre with my beloved partner, Jack. And well, I am seeing this city in a new light which is great! (old post: Sydney vs London - prob very out of date).

There are some deeply engrained programs in this old country. Having stepped away and done as much work as I can to date to relieve my psyche from a lot of deep conditionings (via yoga, meditation, therapy etc), some are so glaringly obvious and well, I have seen way too much to cower. I am determined to keep the magic alive!

The one behaviour I want to shine a light on is gossip. I’ve not felt what gossip feels like since I was a teenager at school. I remember being sat in my art class and the table of girls were bitching about a close friend of mine, Vicky. I vaguely remember flagging it as inappropriate and speaking to Vicky about it afterwards. I had a friendship group at High School that was founded on openness, honesty and integrity and see what a treasure that was. We tended to speak directly to one another, even when it was a little uncomfortable. 

What I returned to see, very clearly when I came back to the UK this Summer, is how much people care about how others perceive them, how their family / career / status represents them and what people might say. Very quickly I found myself standing in those shoes and feeling absolutely exhausted from the vulnerability and weight - that is a lot of disempowering and distracting mental upkeep. 

Yet in a society where our media system is driven by the superficiality of celebrity gossip and ‘eye catching’ news (given eye-balls equate to media sales), I can see how this paradigm has woven itself into the fabric of our social behaviour. It serves the machine.

When I found myself entangled in a story that had me the focus of gossip I got to experience first hand how this energy can wrap itself around ones being, bringing about a sense of unease and feeling unfairly, dare I say the word, judged. I found solace in a sense of ‘rising above’ and deeply honouring and reconnecting with myself. That and yoga. And I suppose if anyone else has felt this low vibrational buzz kill, coming from or towards them, they’ll appreciate how cyclical it can be.

In ancient texts it is said that gossip is like a death sentence, for your character is assassinated before you have a chance to represent yourself. If one cannot represent themselves without encountering prejudice they feel wounded by the environment and which disallows their ability to experience being more than what they are perceived as: they will be limited by the concepts of those who focus from a lower part of themselves.

Character assassination is one of the most degrading activities that we will encounter as human beings. As a humanity we have become familiarised so extensively with gossip that this familiarisation brings the practice into so-called 'normality'. This state of affairs is so far removed from power that by mere association, in terms of acceptance of this phenomenon, we are being programmed to be desensitised to the greater part of ourselves (that and its inherent manipulation).

How do we all rise above in a habitually externally focused society? For me, I simply bowed out and have promised myself to have the courage to voice when gossip comes my way or put a stop to sharing opinions or stories that defames another's character. That and trusting my intuition when someone's behaviours, as my Dad would say, 'smells off' and discerningly step away.

What makes me feel sad is how much we miss out on getting to know one another as we play blind guessing games, marrying people to a limited perception of them and not encouraging them to blossom into their greatest expressions of life. I know I am not alone on that one. 

So I write this for the sisterhood because I find girls especially, using their innate tool of communication (that was once used to point out the dangerous mushrooms and the fruitful bounties) gossip, holding us all back from connecting deeply from a place of openness. Like my Canadian friend Evette would say "What's with British girls bringing each other down? Sisters big one another up!" My feeling is, if we want to see a more balanced world, we must take a big honest look at ourselves, our behaviours and see what it is we are really nourishing within us.

Is it Truth...? Or is it drama? 

Inspiration:
https://www.ted.com/talks/thandie_newton_embracing_otherness_embracing_myself?language=en

Cultural insight:
http://www.jewfaq.org/m/speech.htm (Jewish ancient text)
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/aug/19/english-children-among-unhappiest-world-widespread-bullying