going for gaia

Earlier this year I went to a special place tucked up in the jungles of Thailand. A place immersed deeply in nature called Gaia Ashram that welcomes students from around the world to learn and grow together in alignment with nature.

Gaia Ashram hosted 25 of us and with inspiringly talented teachers and facilitators we dug deeper in to the learning’s of the land. We were empowered with practical knowledge that enabled us all to live a more sustainable lifestyle free from the dependency we have on unnatural resources and the short cuts of the modern age which rely heavily on toxic substances, that consequentlypollute our lands.

On my journey, I am again and again awestruck by Nature and am grateful for the practices that have connected me deeply with her / it. I know there are some who see and advocate for a better alignment of our collective energies with the planet and the one organism we are all a part of.

What I experienced at Gaia Ashram was more than an internship. While we trained in practical ways to build and grow organically and learned how to sustain and support life; it was also an opportunity to go more deeply in to the unwavering truth within that recognises itself in nature. Realising this oneness nurtures a very genuine care for life on this planet. I still smile to myself when I remember my friend Pasang, a Tibetan monk who would pick the beetles from the path as we trekked through the Himalayas. So divine to see such a care for life.

For the first two weeks we studied Natural Building learning how to create structures from the materials of the land. It was so awesome to realise that one can build bricks and mortar simply from combining the plasticity of clay found in the earth mixed with sand to give it structure. In a beautiful way it was like building a giant sandcastle as we collaborated in a mud pit, made bricks and built walls (and a pizza oven!) out of all the materials available on site. There were no masks and lots of muddy hands!

The days were long, starting at 5.45am for meditation and yoga before breakfast followed by the day’s offerings of Personal Empowerment Workshops and Natural Building. Our international group; zany, honest and beautiful, over time gently opened up and the masks slowly faded away as we got more and more vulnerable and real together. It was so refreshing.

We learned how to work together in a community, the responsibility of honouring time and energy of others and the challenging recognition that community living is no walk in the park. That there can be an abundance of triggers; that some people get upset if there’s sugar in their breakfast and that others just don’t want to play in the group and that it is all ok. It is not a common experience in Western society to have so many people living so closely together and I feel I have more empathy for the families that live on top of one another in the East or in the shanty towns I saw in South America.

What amazed me was how such a large group of people were able to reconcile - if not appreciate - their differences while practicing non-violent communication (aka 'Compassionate Communication') void of the notoriously disempowering finger point when expressing feelings in a group setting. We encouraged one another to take full responsibility for our choices and yet there was an embracing honesty and accountability. It fascinated me to watch our humanity unfold in this shared intimate space and while I was there to learn more practical teachings so I can build my own sustainable empire one-day; these lessons were undoubtedly invaluable.

The second two weeks had us in the garden planting organic vegetables, creating compost, natural pesticides and veggie patches. Surprisingly I found the garden to be a very welcome retreat from all the activity going on and I loved offering my time and energy to pulling out weeds (very liberating!) while creating a stunning mandala pebble path to beautify the space. I tapped in to the inner gardener in me and am excited to devote more time to crafting edible gardens in the future rather than putting energy in to the supermarket giants and some pretty horrific farming practices.

Deep Ecology lectures and workshops asked us to look at the world and humankinds place within it. How we are behaving on a collective scale and what practical steps one may wish to take to realign with nature and the sustainability of our planet. It was not always easy and through Joanna Macy’s processes we went deep in to honouring the pain of Nature, something Western society feels very uncomfortable with even expressing let alone honouring. These practices were however empowering as we also committed to offering more to the care of our planet.

But what of this for you dear reader? Well, I don’t know if you are with me or not, but I need to be honest about my feelings on how we really treat the planet and ultimately ourselves. I wouldn't say I was anymore perfect than the next person, but I continue persistently to try and learn how to tread lightly and live life with sobriety, implementing energy thoughtfully considering all I have learned.
It’s been a pretty humbling process and not something I expected to find myself doing when I chose to leave corporate life for world explorations.

To completely embody our true nature we must develop a greater awareness, honesty and responsibility for our inside worlds and a gentleness with that. To see the self-limiting beliefs and behaviours that can be deeply embedded in the psyche and drop the masks worn to protect bottled fears inside. I cannot begin to tell you how liberating and expansive that process is but perhaps witnessing my travels around the world might reflect that to you; Anything really is possible. Which is why I remain hopeful.

I hope that the world we create together will reflect a deep compassion, care and practice that is in alignment with the rhythms of nature and to have care - if not reverence - for Nature’s great unifying spirit. 

Interesting article: http://www.theguardian.com/environment/earth-insight/2014/mar/14/nasa-civilisation-irreversible-collapse-study-scientists

Great TED Talk 'Life is Easy. Why do we make it so hard': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21j_OCNLuYg

dear burning burning man

Photo: Galen Oakes

Dear Burning Man

As I watched you burning fiercely amongst the 70,000 'Burners' I reflected deeply on these last few years since I left Sydney and the stories I'd been battling with since I was a child. I watched you light up the sky bathed in beautiful fireworks and realised just how there I was. How released I felt and ultimately, how bloody grateful.

As I meditated on you I felt the fire within me burn too; absolutely free, alive and whole. Thanking myself for burning the shame, burning the sadness, burning the fears and burning the fury and the rage. Burning Man, you burn and boy do you burn good.

The BE //Photo: jessicabrookes.photography

What I wondered - as I sat under the stars of the Nevada desert - was what exciting dreams would come to life next? Where would life take me? How would I grow? As the ashes shook away, I finally, sighed with huge relief. I can't explain it but I can bow my head and say thanks. You took away my fears Burning Man and those things can hot bake pretty damn deep.

If all the grit brought me here, in this very hot moment, I thought. Then I have a lot to be thankful for. Except the wrinkles, they've taken a bit of time to adjust to - ironically. But I rather a few lines that crinkle when I smile, than the high security armored heart I'd slogged around for far too long. Yes I feel more than before, the tears come all too easily but yet the joy for living showers me in such inspiration, Burning Man. Like waterfalls of endless potential you rain down the message loud and clear; anything is possible.

To all the Burners, you beautiful celestial beings that make the pilgrimage to this wonderful place, I wholeheartedly salute you. What an incredibly magical place we crafted together, what powerful dust storms we fought (I will not forget cycling straight in to that sculpture!), the boundary pushing workshops we dove in to and dance floors feet kissed while bathed in the breath-taking golden sunsets. I rode my edge Burning Man but I  didn't snap. Even as the storm pulled out the tent pegs and coated everything in a layer of dust. Even then when you pushed me that far. Nope. It was OK.

Burning Man, you are full of such dreamlike wonder. Full of the bizarre, eccentric and fun. You are full to the brim with creative spirit and you are so full of love and everything that's inspired. You are a great place to burn off the pains and exist more fully in the NOW with a smile on the face and a big open heart. And you are extraordinary because you are a collection of creations, selfless and empowered. A giant united heart facing the sunrise and looking forward, day after day. When I rode through the desert and found a watch only to learn that the time said N:O:W - I got the message. A great present from the desert that I offered to the beautiful Temple which was home to so much grief. Somber it was, thank god that got burnt down too! In silence. With plenty tears. And so many people moved by it.

The Temple //Photo: jessicabrookes.photography

Thank you for burning. You have liberated, enlightened and been a space for healing and self expression to a lot of brave people. You have also brought a whole manner of sorts in to one field; from the naked banana pancake camp to the giant penis sculpture.

Here's to more magic, more love and more joy. Let that fire ROAR burners, there's a fire in your heart and your life is the canvas to blaze it on. You don't always need a desert, baby, you've got soul.

So spark it up Burning Man and burn burn burn.

In love with desert light, made peace with the dust.

Jecta x

"Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love." ~ by Caroline Adams

love & care, going to extremes

sadhu crew at bamboo

"Most people would join a gym Jecta" my old friend Springer remarked as we crossed Wandsworth bridge in London while I explained that I was planning on spending some time on a detox retreat at The Sanctuary Thailand. Perhaps, but not for me.

Somehow my time in the French Alps had taken its toll on my mind, body and soul. I'd held myself to ridiculously high standards in terms of my work, my diet and my lifestyle and after 5 months working a six day week so intensely with all the responsibilities that came with managing chalets and a team, I could see how my relationships around me were telling me that something wasn't right and I was slipping in to a place of guilt for not doing as much yoga and running as I had hoped while nibbling on croissants and allowing a bit of winter buffer around my belly to bug me.

After some curve balls and disappointments, I chose to step back in to my power again. It was time to give myself a gift. The greatest gift of extreme self-love and extreme self-care. Nourishment from the inside out, a polish and a realignment with the rhythms of nature and all her blessed shapes.

On a beautiful remote beach on the coast of Koh Phangan immersed in the jungles along the beach lives a stunning retreat centre called The Sanctuary. After two planes, a cab, a ferry and a fisherman boat, I stepped on to the sandy bay and breathed it all in. It was like stepping in to a dream and London felt a lifetime behind me as I gazed up at the open ocean calling me in to her waters.

I had visited The Sanctuary in 2011 with my Mum and we had opened up to the beautiful therapies, yoga classes and detox programs of the resort. I'd spent a session with a shaman going on a journey to find my power animal(s) and had had wonderful enlightening experiences for the two weeks we were there. This time round however, rather than being a corporate advertising executive with my designer bikini, playing hard ball negotiating my next contract and staying in one of their beautiful air conditioned Garden Suites, I was donning my rasta string bikini purchased at a local shop for a couple of hundred baht, had no time restrictions to my duration and no Mum to take care of. Just me and a humble fanned room with an epic view of the bay.

My first two weeks I spent without food and having a self-administered plastic tube up my bottom. Some would argue that this isn't a very loving thing to do but my goodness when one feels the boundless energy of the emptiness created, the heightened awareness and looks in the mirror to see the slender body once a distant memory, I can guarantee it brings about great appreciation. The detox program involved regular clay shakes of benzonite clay and psyllium husk, super food capsules, daily yoga classes and spa treatments... along with a daily enema. It required a fair amount of discipline and time keeping.

What amazed me was how ok I was without food. I really wanted to explore what Russell Brand says "lives behind your hunger" but I actually felt ok. I sat with people eating at the incredibly healthy and delicious cafe of the retreat centre, admired the salad bar and perhaps felt a craving or two for the Raw Bliss Balls and cheese cakes but otherwise what really filled my being was gladness.

"There's no where I would rather be" I found myself saying as I surrendered my whole time in Thailand to that bay. I didn't go on any big adventures, I didn't trek the jungles or wash elephants. I didn't visit a single temple nor step on the streets of Bangkok. Instead I immersed myself in the beauty of the bay and shared some of the happiest moments with the gorgeous family of therapists, yoga teachers and travellers in this little hub of paradise.

"Don't be sorry, be sexy" was the mantra of the bay and boy did we all feel it.

Open mic night saw me step in to my vulnerability and read poetry and sing in front of an audience. Movie night I buzzed with excitement watching this incredible documentary; What About Me? I joined Craig Stuart from Coral Alive replanting coral in the reef donning masks and learning to hold breath underwater. I danced wildly with an empty stomach in the small hours of the morning at the local weekly shindig, I watched the sunrise over the bay in pink golden light and connected with some beautiful new friends from around the world.

the special veranda

One afternoon I doused in poetry on a bamboo veranda with a gorgeous writer-musician (actually a dinosaur in disguise as a human) Luke from Travel Write Sing before practicing frog impressions in the plunge pool and resonating powerful 'Ommmms' in the steam room cave. Another time, surrounded by beautiful women we sped like a ship of warrior goddess' across the ocean to a 'tribal chique' garden party in Koh Sumui armed with face paints, glitter and feathers.

Brett on the rock.

One day I trekked to the neighbour beach and meditated with a cliff jumping tattooed Canadian called Brett and we practiced Samyama meditation with the great rocks that had made it down the mountains after eons of travel. We knew they were happy to have reached the ocean at last. Sunsets I had jamming with musicians serenading mosquitos or joining gatherings to watch lightning storms across the bay. Not forgetting a few nights dancing wildly in the rain singing with the boy with the biggest smile, guitarist Jason and laughing and cuddling Maddie, my 'Sagi Sister'.

Another evening I experienced the incredible luminescent plankton as we went on a night swim and I felt like a child in ecstatic wonderment watching my movements create sparkles in the deep dark waters. I recall lying on a beach bed looking up at the stars with a soul brother Dan from the States. A kindred spirit who too had studied Law and pursued a career in the corporate world before it spat him out and he journeyed through Tibetan Buddhist culture and became a yoga teacher. His words still with me now and inspiring seedlings we birthed in each other.

My people I found there. Grounded, open hearted and inspiring souls from everywhere who reminded me of things I already knew and whispered through their hearts "keep going Jess, keep going". I cannot begin to explain the love and gratitude felt for the tender hearts on that bay. Its a magical place.

After meeting a powerfully healing ROLFING practitioner Sarah, I spent a month having regular sessions and experiencing some of the deepest healing's I've ever had while bringing my body in to its fullest alignment and posture. I won't lie, there was certainly pain. Ever questioning I couldn't believe it when I physically felt an energy leave my stomach like a tangible ball of anxiety dust extracted through a cosmic vacuum cleaner. "Oh my God... What the hell was that?" I said to Sarah. "It doesn't matter now dear, it has gone now in love and light" and then a world of tears fell as feelings of betrayal vibrated through my body and intense heat gushed through to my finger tips while a sigh of relief breathed my insides. Wow. Then there were cacao ceremonies, elemental dances, sound baths, Ayurvedic classes and all the other incredible workshops the Tea Temple hosts for guests at The Sanctuary.

Well, I could go on and on. I can say that nothing felt more liberating, more empowering and more inspiring than this time being at The Sanctuary. I was bare feet for a month - that is always a good sign for me. I swam in the ocean everyday and wrapped myself in the sounds of nature; the frog orchestras, the birdsong, the monkeys and the soft beating of the gentle waves crashing on the sand. And I've been writing, that long awaited tale that I've spoken so much on and finally found the inspiration to write. It feels like an old painting that I am merely articulating through words. And my goodness is it flowing, I've filled up the back of my journal and found myself scavenging scraps of paper to capture the words that want to live somewhere. So exciting for this little writer.

I appreciate that not all jectaspecta readers live a lifestyle that gives them the means, time and space to go on long nourishing retreats like this one (and so does The Sanctuary with its weeklong programs). I can't say that my lifestyle is always easy but I can say that like the human experience, it is one hell of an adventure and I love it most the time... and in moments when I'm not, I know I'm growing in appreciation and strength.

Admittedly in the past I have got entangled in the heavy stuff, fallen in to places of doubt, frustration, envy, anger and sadness. These places are hard for me - I'm sure like many of us - because I grew up believing they were wrong and I didn't have the courage to sit with the pain. This nourishing experience really acted as a soothing balm on what has been one hell of a deep process on the road and while I was there a beautiful friend and Yin Yogini Georgia shone a light upon my grief one afternoon as we swam through the ocean together. She helped me see that what I thought was grief for an old love and everything that revolved around it, was actually the grief I had for my old self. A simple realisation but the most liberating to date to realise the intense transformation the last few years traveling has had on me, shedding the layers and old programming and coming to accept the person I have become through it in the NOW.

So more and more I am learning about self empowerment - to find the love and care for me from within and give myself a lot of it because I bloody well deserve it as do we all! As my Mum would say "Happiness is always with you, patience and faith are a good combination. But happiness is with you always." Such a wise woman she is and what an empowering reminder for us all.

Thank you The Sanctuary and all the incredible lights that held and shared space for me while I was there. I am still buzzing in grace :)

jectas top 10 cities to blow the mind...

Kyoto, Japan

Someone wise once said to me 'you can't love a city until it loves you' as in it takes time to create the memories, the stories and shared moments before one feels a sense of belonging there. I feel very fortunate to have enjoyed a good amount of time in some great cities and wish I could do more for others.

I love city dynamics, the movement, the energies flowing in all different directions and unique expressions; the arts, the nightlife, the anonymity and ability to walk out your door donning a pair of scruffy tracky b's, pair of shades and a beanie to get a coffee in the small hours without worrying about who might recognise you (having grown up in small villages - where everyone knows everyone - I also know that feeling).

It is really hard for me to write a list of only 10 but I thought I'd give it a go. Here are my top 10 most mind blowing cities from around the world. Not in any particular order.

1. Florence, Italy. Birthplace of the Italian language thanks to Dante, a beautiful river with old fashioned bridges, delicious Italian food and the old market square really made Florence a special place to visit. Nearly a third of the world's art treasures reside in the Tuscan capital of Florence. It's terribly romantic but has such a timeless essence to it that I just love. I would love to sit outside at a cafe and drink an espresso watching the world go by while learning Italian or eating homemade pasta.
2. Vienna, Austria. I wasn't so interested in Austria until recently. Over the last few years I've visited a couple of times and been fortunate enough to pass through Vienna. A land where time stood still and horses and carriages still trundle through the cities beautifully paved streets. Known as the “city of dreams” a term coined by Sigmund Freud’s influence on the city as the world’s first psycho-analyst born there. The baroque architecture is so regal, perfect and pristine white that it just glows in the sunshine and the city is such a fantastic place to wonder around feeling safe and philosophical...
3. Kyoto, Japan. Ah I loved my time in Kyoto. Like Japan, this city has a beautiful blend of old and new. From the old narrow streets where one might glimpse Geisha's amongst the temples to the new modern neon lit buildings, Kyoto has something quite unique about it. Sat in a valley, while the weather is humid in summer and rainy in winter, it has a wonderful river passing through it and beautiful walks alongside temples and gardens. It is great for a hot saki and sushi street snacks and gatherings, it is also very bike friendly. The main challenge I found was the language but a great way to sharpen your skills in 'communicating by stomach' and recognising when a friendly Japanese has no idea but doesn't want to say that word they don't like to say ('No'). I did a day trip to Mount Kurama where there's an old temple and the ancient energy healing technique 'Reiki' was born from. Very spooky spiritual place.
4. New York, USA. Start spreading the news! This is a city where you very much feel a part of it. Wow. I'm buzzing just thinking about it. I've not had my socks blown off quite like it as I did when I was in the Big Apple. Never have I found a metro underground system so grimy yet entertaining. I got lost countless times while living in New York and would love finding a random band jamming on the platform, kids pulling out epic dance moves swinging from the bars in the carriages and the fascinating conversations to be had with people from all walks of life. My British accent went down a treat in New York and it was a city that even during winter, had fun activities and a Christmassy cheer to it. I still get a sense of nostalgia thinking about that city. Ridiculously competitive, loud mouthed and happy to kick you in the balls if you've got some, I got kissed a few times by this city in a way that was totally forgivable but challenged me oh it did.
5. Buenos Aires, Argentina. Everyone in this city is beautiful and having therapy. Which is probably a good thing. I have always said you can tell a city by its pigeons and Buenos Aires is the only city where I've seen pigeons eating beef scraps. The pavements are broken and littered with dog poop and the architecture is spectacular while the sky a dream. A recipe for disaster if you're someone who likes to look up in admiration, especially if you're in heals. Nevertheless, I just love this latin city. It was one of the most heart breaking cities I've visited but in a way that has left a mark forever. The football, the theatre, the ice cream and the sky. I loved living in BA. People challenged so many of my Britishisms and the city pushed all my buttons and yet I kept loving it out, loving it out and still love this mind-blowing chaotic latin city fiercely. This is a city for poets and artists preferably on a foreign income...
6. London, UK. An organised, prestigious, diverse and interesting city. London is the only city I've been to where I've seen a man with jewels embedded in his head as a mohawk sat next to a man in a pin stripped business suit on the underground. I love London and I love my London crew. I play in the East when I want to dress like a teenager, make grimy look cool and dance to some of the world's best electronic music. I settle in the West if I want to visit some fancy art galleries or my favourite building, the History Museum, while drinking tea and going for a city stroll. It is a city of many faces and many stories. If they could make the sky higher, rain less frequent and people less busy and stressed, I'd be tempted to live there again...
7. Sydney, Australia. I lived in Sydney for 4 years - so I knew it pretty well. Life by the beach, coming home to sunshine, having access to some amazing restaurants and asian cuisine is such a dream. With the Blue Mountains and the Hunter Valley close by and an abundance of fun outdoor things to do, such as surfing, trekking, cocktails on rooftops, yogging, picnic, BBQs and festivals etc. this cosmopolitan city will always have a special place in my heart. It's miles away from the rest of the world but sometimes I wonder, perhaps that'd not a bad thing after all. 
8. Kathmandu, Nepal. One of the most hectic, crazy, cows in the road, monkeys on the highway city I've been to. Waking up to the sound of all the temple bells and the morning puja's is a beautiful experience. Going to one of the many UNESCO Heritage sights such as Boudhanath Stupa and doing the auspicious walk around the prayer flagged stupa is a very unique experience. As is visiting the burning ghats. Not for the faint of heart but certainly a place to have the eyes opened wide and feel a million miles away from one's comfort zone (old post on Nepali trip here).
9. Jaisalmer, India. The Golden City of the Rajasthan desert (old post on Rajasthan here), this place is just magnificent. My friend and I slept under the stars in the desert one night on a camel safari, watched camel racing and walked around the lake feeling totally mesmerised. This city is a place of pure wonder, deliciously spicy curry and days easily spent admiring the fantastically etched buildings of the Raj. It is the kind of place where one could live for a few months and write a novel.
10. Siem Reap, Cambodia. This country is actually incredibly sad. Its one of the saddest places I've ever been to and the wounds of the Khmer Rouge are still fresh in the hearts and bones of many generations that survived the horrific killings that took place in the 70's. The Angkor Wat temples near Siem Reap however are absolutely astounding and walking round imagining the ancient civilisations that lived among these old grand relics embedded in the jungle is just amazing. Siem Reap is a great city to give to by donating blood, supporting the anti land-mine efforts or getting a massage by the blind community. I would never choose to live there but for a mind blowing experience, it's pretty impressive.

And so there it is. Some of the cities that have made some deep impressions and I've had some incredible experiences in. Hopefully more to come!

why travel?

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. – Mark Twain

I've touched upon before the cool things I've learned travelling. I love always learning, having a beginner's mind and exploring new ideas and possibilities that not only grow me but also help create a better world.

What I've hardly touched upon is what I've unlearned and if there's one thing that explorative travel does for you, is teach you to expand your awareness, your ideas and perspectives on oneself and others. It teaches you to respect and care for others, despite them being different to you. This is invaluable in a world that is getting increasingly smaller through technology and industry.

As a girl who grew up in a small village in Warwickshire, England, I was fortunate to be surrounded by nature. I'd be playing in cow fields, making dens out of abandoned train tunnels, swimming in rivers and generally having a slow paced environment to grow up in. But I was also of a generation that watched a lot of TV, played computer games and studied very hard for fear of failure. Something that plagues teachers as well as their students. Hence, I had a whole world of ideas hot baked on to my being. Cultural programming one might call it and a lot of learned fears.

Despite leaving England 7 years ago, I've had chance to spend a lot of time in Britain this year (I still have lovely friends and family to see). It's been so good to come home to people I care for, especially my Dad, while also observe Britishisms and see how they've affected me and others around the country.

What a quirky bunch the Brits are!

Thankfully, Brits tend to be a very polite bunch and up for a laugh! I love this. I love the sense of humour, the banter and also the good manners. I love how we get together over tea. In fact one habit I have acquired travelling is to make myself a cup of Earl Grey whenever I am feeling homesick. I like how grounded this country is. Its organised and timely which is practical for me sometimes (and very necessary when working with others). I don't particularly dig the cost of living, extortionate train ticket prices, deeply entrenched ideas around class and the degree of alcoholism but I love this politeness and conscientiousness that is a tendency among Brits. And it is the most apologetic country I've ever been to.

As a country surrounded by water, Britain also has a sense of self-defensive reserve. Britain was once upon a time attacked at sea from all angles, our navy was world re-known and the cooler climates have created a hardiness among people. I think this is why the Brits can be somewhat reserved. It reminds me of the Japanese in a way, with the wall they build around themselves painted with tradition, reverence and honour.

You can tell when you get on a train. I laugh to myself at how contrasting a train carriage in England is with one in India for example. We're so proper in England and awkward around one another's space. In India, your hearing bhajans in the carriage next door, a man persistently pushing "chai chaiiiii chaiiii" and are likely to smell a whole world of Indian odours as you intimately share space with people, food and livestock.

But there's also an arrogance that comes with being British along with a pride and prejudice. We're a country of high standing in the world's history and were very good at manipulating the psyche's of countries we wished to conquer such as places I've visited; New Zealand, Australia and India (a failed attempt in Japan). I don't want to criticise as all cultures have 'their thing' and nor am I in denial of where I was born, but I can say, it has served me very well to spend time outside of England and explore the rest of the world. Eyes widen to fresh new paradigms, healthier ways of being and one's mind can take a big leap out of the fear mongering media that this country spins its wheels on creating an undertone of low level anxiety and fear of the unknown.

What travelling taught me to do was to look at the world from the stars. Somehow from there, there are no foreigners, no borders, no right and wrong, just life experiencing itself.

I really love an open-mind. A curiosity that welcomes the new despite challenging the status quo or what is believed to be known. I love having my perspective challenged or illuminated by that of another. That is why I travel, because I keep learning new things, meeting interesting people, seeing different perspectives and having life experiences that keep me moving. Not always easy I might add.

My next adventure takes me to the Alps where I will be managing some chalets in Reberty, a small French village in the Three Valleys. A far cry from my old desk job. But I am so excited about this trip! It was on the bucket list to do a ski season. I'm delighted to be also offering therapies and running a yoga retreat in the mountains while sharing the incredible practices I've learned these last few years to people in resort.

I invite anyone reading this not to get too stuck in your ways, to allow new ideas to come forth and to keep that dream alive!!! You may have to defend it, you may have to face some fears and you may have to patiently wait or learn a thing of two. You may have to change things. But my God does it create a life worth living and to be incredibly thankful for.

That's why I travel. Because it reminds me to keep loving life and believing.

growing up is learning how to say goodbye.

Recently someone admired my minimalist lifestyle and commented on how liberating it must feel.

Granted, he is right. I am living out of a bag travelling the world with a sense of excitement and freedom that this lifestyle affords. I can wake up with inspiration to go anywhere and work to make it happen. Unless it's Pakistan. My Dad recently vetoed Pakistan. And sometimes I listen to him.

And this is how life has chosen to teach me and it's required a lot of work and letting go inside out. When Puki, my Spanish neighbour said as we sat outside the apple tree farm in Parvatti Valley India "Crecer es aprender a despedirse" (growing up is learning how to say goodbye) - I thought I knew what her profound words meant -but I had only just started to scratch the surface.

Leaving Sydney to travel the world is the most courageous thing I have ever done in my life. It was brought on by a huge shift and a break up. I knew I made the best decision for myself and for those I care for but there have been emotional consequences that I wouldn't want people to think one can escape by taking that leap and 'letting go'.

The truth is on this journey I have had to learn how to say goodbye. Arguably I left a lot; stability, security, a decent income, close friends, a good career and a beautiful home with paintings on the walls and good knives in the kitchen drawers. And I realised that I had feelings and meaning entangled in this home; in the people I love, the life I lead, gosh my bike, Jeremy, has a love for him so strong that I had him shipped across the globe to live in my Dad's shed! Now whenever I return to visit he gets a wash down, tyres pumped and apologised to profusely before going on a 'we are reunited again!' bike ride.

I do humbly feel I am much more peaceful, true and alive with a more open heart, but it came at the cost of some seriously difficult goodbyes that life did not warn me about. It sucks saying goodbye. The not knowing when next.

And people have stories through which they perceive themselves and the world around them, memories entangled in matter whether a photograph or precious memory and people, people who we care so much for we'd take a bullet for them... In the arm at least... no longer a call away. Or they are but, its harder.

When these are no longer present in life, I found on a human level, that one goes on a process of goodbyes and it can hurt surprisingly more than expected.

Our culture promotes stoicism and a "Keep Calm & Carry On" attitude without a conversation about grief or allowing one to embrace it or create space for melancholy and goodbyes. We shy around death and loss like it doesn't exist and its an awkward conversation. And yet this is a very real experience in life and a truism on its impermanence that we all have to experience. Unless of course you are Disney...

You have indeed felt a great loss, but love is a form of energy and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads love for you has not left this world, it is still inside of your heart, and is reborn as new love. Let the pain flow away... - Guru Pathik (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

It helped me to see that we only grieve for what we love and I feel very grateful for the friends around the world who've been there or reached out, in their own way, when I needed to feel my way through it and shine some light through the cracks.

It was a process and a lot of heartfelt poetry has come from it... not a career I'd ever had in mind.

So yes, yes, yes, this lifestyle is so liberating and if life allows you to and you wish for it, I can't recommend the experience enough. You can be alive and tune in to spirit. Practically learn to be self-sufficient (campfires, foraging, fishing and hitch hiking), quieten the mind while trusting the heart... along with all the other happy surprises and adventures from around the world and beautiful people from different cultures. Tasty food. Inspiring experiences... But there may also be some heart break along the way and goodbyes that can feel rubbish...

We all have our own way of dealing with the pains of grief and separation, I can't offer a map for it, but I know hugs, tears and sharing helped me a lot. And perhaps on a beautiful transcendental level one might also see separation as one of life's greatest illusions and feel a little comfort in knowing that whatever it is you miss, deep down is always with you.

I think Bob Marley knew what he was singing about.

5 things money can’t buy

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself, Love possesses not nor would it be possessed: For love is sufficient unto love.” – The Prophet 

More "Funny Money" images here.

As many jectaspecta readers will know, I decided about 3 years ago to go traveling until money ran out. I stepped out of the game, had paid my debts, never had a credit card and only had my personal life savings to financially support myself.

Every now and then I would get paid for good deeds done on tour, but otherwise, life has sustained me by living humbly.

It has not been easy.

Neither is it easy being in London without money and working as a yogini (which is integrally non-competitive).

All things said however, I have realised some personal truths on what gives meaning and value to life which I thought would be worth sharing.

1. Moments with loved ones.
Being with someone I care for, having their presence in my life and sharing good times is the most heart-warmingly divine experience. That time when Dad and I played backgammon and I won three times in a row is among many of those moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

 2. Naked tumbles.
Those moments of love-wrapped intimacy can transcend everything. A Sunday spent naked in the arms of another, empty tea cups by the bed and the musky scent of naked tumbles steaming from the sheets is something you can never put a price on.

3. That light in time of need.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes there are storms leaving one feeling lost and afraid (I learned this sailing in the Caribbean). When there are disasters personal or at scale, the most natural thing for a human being to want to do is be there to help. Having someone there in those moments of darkness can be the light that guides you through. Like a lighthouse as your boat comes in to port through stormy seas, their presence is invaluable.

4. That last bite. 
It’s amazing how scarcity invites one to reflect on the meaningful things in life. As human beings we don’t need as much as we are lead to believe and when hungry one truly appreciates every morsel. We live in a world where there’s enough for everyone. But we don’t have enough for everyone’s greed. Appreciating the small things; kind gestures and last bites is worth more than any amount of money taken for granted.

5. Love.
With everything and with nothing - the hearts of gold will love you no matter what. No amount of stuff and no amount of money will ever change that. Love is the most powerful force on Earth; it purifies karma and teaches us lessons in all its feeling and through all its pains.

BONUS: NATURE.

"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money" - Cree Indian Proverb

Being a happy-go-lucky character living in Australia, insulated from some of the harsh realities of this planet, I didn't realise how sensitive I would be to some of the deeply saddening circumstances people live in and behaviours cultures can deem acceptable.

What has continually pulled me through is nature (and inner strength!) Experiencing unity with nature has lead to the most healing, empowering and awakening experiences.

We live in urban swells far removed from the stillness, serenity and spirit of nature. Furthermore, we are incredibly wasteful as a species and our mass consumptive behaviour has devastating results on our environment.

I feel passionately about this subject and I hope technology and infrastructure can keep up with the growing demands of increasingly westernised nations such as India and China with their growing demands and consumerist paradigm of 'buy the latest' while destroying our land and contaminating waters with toxins.

I likewise hope to see consciousness evolve to a level where cultures can unite and become more harmonious with one another, while humans act as the guardians of the planet we once were, yet somehow in our insanity, lost along the way.

IN OTHER WORDS: 

NATURE. NATURE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE!!!

what are you afraid of?

This video might be the best 15 minutes of your day in front of your computer via Thrilling Heroics

My Dad is afraid of heights.

He explained that fear of heights is either the fear of falling or the fear of jumping.

This last few years travelling to the tune of my heart I learned that one of my biggest fears has been not to live.

Has anyone ever felt like they had ridiculously little time left?

That was me before I packed my bags.

And despite knowing my shift in lifestyle challenges so many of the old man's paradigms from the era of work to make money etc. "You are dreaming Jess" is what he tells me. Gosh don't I know it!? (tips for dreamers here).

I still say with hand on heart to anyone reading this;

JUMP!

UPDATE: Dad said he is conquering his fear of heights. This year he zip-wired.

Go Dad!

there's no place like home

It was Sunday 25th September 2011. I was wide awake at 3am feeling a wee bit lost and confused. I had a good friend on the other end of the line kind enough to put my situation in to perspective and remind me of my deep down wish to travel and that there was nothing (besides my job) holding me back.

The next morning, before I had chance to change my mind, I handed in my notice. Shortly after I was booking flights to the destinations that had called me; Japan, India, Nepal and Argentina while preparing a spreadsheet complete with budgets, destinations, timings etc. By the 29th of October I was hosting my "not goodbye party" with my nearest and dearest of Sydney preparing for my next adventure.

I estimated that my life savings could afford me one year of travel; finally the belated gap year that I'd always dreamt of! I gave myself enough time to work out where I wanted to resettle after leaving Sydney behind, while also allowing some quality time to myself, to creative projects, to explore the world and devote to family.

Benchmarking the duration of my travels against my savings was both the stupidest and smartest commitment I made to myself. My savings incidentally have stretched a lot further (with the odd surprise top up through working as a teacher, giving therapies or cooking as a chef on a super-yacht) while life created 'money can't buy' experiences that I could have never even dreamed of... taking me further from Argentina on to Venezuela, Antigua, touring Europe, the USA and Colombia. And despite all these blessed opportunities to keep moving... I have wanted to stop and settle down at pretty much every country I have visited.

It's been 32 months that I've travelled solo. I've couch-surfed, hired rooms, rented apartments, slept on various surfaces in various conditions and in various moving vehicles. The outside world has taken me up mountains and across oceans. I have never felt so alive and yet I've never felt so alone. So vulnerable and yet so fearlessly empowered.

I've met all kinds of people. The faithless and the faithful. The open and the closed. The resentful and the forgiving. The obnoxious and the timid. The wealthy and the poor. Characters who's hearts bleed for something or someone that they lost or had to let go of.

This nomadic lady has filled her boots with the ups and downs that one endures in the world of the unknown pushing the boundaries of the human spirit. While also giving myself the space and time to heal and grow while nurturing the patience and love to care for another. I've also prayed a lot. I'm pretty sure I've saved lives and pretty sure, I've had mine saved a few times too.

I've laughed so much at the world's ridiculousness and cried more tears than I knew I had. I've been struck by panic in the rush of neon city chaos and felt the comforting relief of arriving at the station just in time for a long bumpy bus journey. I've got myself supremely lost and faced some unpleasant fears yet had enough giggles and light hearted experiences to lift me out of them. I've been gravely disappointed by unconscious behaviour yet filled with joy at another's sincere generosity. I've felt abandoned to the core and loved to the max. Blimey has it been intense; the wrinkles and the scars do enough of the talking.

Last week I finally ran out of travel savings just as I arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina. As I neared the end of the savings bucket I realised all my insecurities tied up in money. While I recognise it as a form of energy, there's so much conditioning we can have around capital and I'm glad I allowed myself to go there and wonder on my own worth along with it. Of course if I wanted to make money, with the skills and experience I have I could get a paid job easily, but I wanted to know this feeling and stick to my promise to keep going until I ran out. This feeling of not being able to afford to do what I want to do and humbly accept it. To live on the bare minimum and to swallow my pride in accepting the hospitality of another. To feel supremely insecure and take full responsibility for it. And of course to finally reach the end of this chapter of my life and arrive independently with my marbles intact.

The concept of home has been much food for thought along the way. Is it a matter of having walls to decorate or friends to see? Is it my family? Is it a country that speaks my language? Or is it the person(s) I am in love with? The world has shown me so many homes and I must admit the one I have loved the most, besides nature, was that of the poorest family I stayed with in a small village in the Himalayas of India. Perhaps it was their humility and acceptance that I was so moved by, their ability to live simply and so connected to the land and their welcome, love and support for one another and their community.

So I turn 30 this year. I left England when I was 22 and hit the road after a break up at 26. These years have been the most defining and remarkable collection of moments of my life which I'll continue to be grateful for in many years to come. And it's also quite plain to see that they've also been the most reflective time of my life... Sorry about that readers! Yet the greatest realisation of this long winded tour has got to be; as much as the journey is the destination - there's no place like home. 

Where is that exactly? Well for me it's a place of being and personally, a journey to go on that no-one else can do for you and at times may require strength, courage and grace.

cool things I've learned travelling

It’s been two and a half years now that I have been on the road. In the flow of the unknown and relentless awe, expansion and vulnerability. Undoubtedly these have also been the most challenging yet bestest years of my life. Something about a rite of passage in to adulthood that my soul may have decided to ensure manifested in ridiculous adventures in to the unknown along with some stuff I could’ve done without. That daaaaaaark night the artists know of... phew... survived... Yey to life!

Despite the madness, this trip has certainly added a layer of understanding to the world and mankind’s stupidity. Thankfully, while learning of one’s own stupidity, one also gets to learn some pretty cool things whilst on tour... such as...

Archery in Austria

Volunteer teaching for Angelles de Medellin, Colombia

Grafiti in Parvati Valley, India

How to catch and gut a swordfish

How to use natural remedies for leach and mosquito repellent

How to race an antique sailing boat

How to juggle

How to do fire poi
How to spontaneously dance to Gloria Estafan

How to be a galley wench on a long sea voyaaaaage

How to extreme knit (knitting on an Indian bus driving through the Himalayas)
How to be a TV presenter

How to make a fire, talk to it and be friends with it

How to wash clothes by hand properly
How to talk to spirit

How to lovingly tolerate people with annoying, arrogant, ignorant, selfish or greedy inclinations (compassion + impermanence + politely walking away)

How to master patience in any given situation

How to share
How to qualify as an English Teacher in a crazy chaotic city like Buenos Aires

How to relate to people from different backgrounds
How to appreciate the little things
How to forgive
How to make a royal hearty breakfast
How to protect myself from negative advances

How to forage for mushrooms

How to sleep on cramped, noisy, moving vehicles

How to meditate

How to heal
How not to freak out when I witness the unexplainable

How to manage co-collaborative creative projects for the greater good

How to paint walls with cool messages

How to sleep outside under the stars

How to sleep in a hammock

How to make hair accessories out of beads and feathers

How to make macramé bracelets

How to make raw chocolate hash balls
How to appreciate selfless service and sacrifice

How to make awesome curry from scratch

How to make arepas, pitta bread and chapattis from scratch

How to eat foraged mangoes

How to wash up using ash

Very simple movie editing

Very basic photo editing
How to embody change

How to write semi decent poetry

How to teach kids English and yoga

How to make an instrument out of clay

How to say hello, thanks, yes, no, goodbye, excuse me, numbers and surprise words in Thai, Hindu, Japanese and German

How to speak Spanish confidently
How to pray

How to get lost

How to find a way

How to fix things resourcefully
How to enjoy online dating (NYC post pending)
How to be single in the most romantic city in the world (Paris)
How to shoot a bow and arrow

How to hitch hike

How not to take life too seriously
How to breathe

How to navigate mountains with a map and compass

How to navigate oceans with a map and compass

How to navigate a city with a note pad and google

How to chill-out
How to create superheroes!

How to ensure your family don’t worry too much about you

How to know when no means no
How to survive
How to share my gifts
How to surrender
How to say sorry, make amends and move on
How to live with a very broken heart

Humble acceptance and appreciation is probably one of the best learnings of all. The magic word of 'thanks' really goes a gracefully long way. I look forward to more interesting lessons and inspirations as I continue along the yellow brick road and invite anyone reading this to have the courage to travel independently one day should the inspiration take hold. The world has a lot to share and we can learn a lot from one another.

While everyday travelling this way promises to be different... she says as she sits next to an American rock star listening to the Goo Goo Dolls at a beachside cafe in Colombia.