going for gaia

Earlier this year I went to a special place tucked up in the jungles of Thailand. A place immersed deeply in nature called Gaia Ashram that welcomes students from around the world to learn and grow together in alignment with nature.

Gaia Ashram hosted 25 of us and with inspiringly talented teachers and facilitators we dug deeper in to the learning’s of the land. We were empowered with practical knowledge that enabled us all to live a more sustainable lifestyle free from the dependency we have on unnatural resources and the short cuts of the modern age which rely heavily on toxic substances, that consequentlypollute our lands.

On my journey, I am again and again awestruck by Nature and am grateful for the practices that have connected me deeply with her / it. I know there are some who see and advocate for a better alignment of our collective energies with the planet and the one organism we are all a part of.

What I experienced at Gaia Ashram was more than an internship. While we trained in practical ways to build and grow organically and learned how to sustain and support life; it was also an opportunity to go more deeply in to the unwavering truth within that recognises itself in nature. Realising this oneness nurtures a very genuine care for life on this planet. I still smile to myself when I remember my friend Pasang, a Tibetan monk who would pick the beetles from the path as we trekked through the Himalayas. So divine to see such a care for life.

For the first two weeks we studied Natural Building learning how to create structures from the materials of the land. It was so awesome to realise that one can build bricks and mortar simply from combining the plasticity of clay found in the earth mixed with sand to give it structure. In a beautiful way it was like building a giant sandcastle as we collaborated in a mud pit, made bricks and built walls (and a pizza oven!) out of all the materials available on site. There were no masks and lots of muddy hands!

The days were long, starting at 5.45am for meditation and yoga before breakfast followed by the day’s offerings of Personal Empowerment Workshops and Natural Building. Our international group; zany, honest and beautiful, over time gently opened up and the masks slowly faded away as we got more and more vulnerable and real together. It was so refreshing.

We learned how to work together in a community, the responsibility of honouring time and energy of others and the challenging recognition that community living is no walk in the park. That there can be an abundance of triggers; that some people get upset if there’s sugar in their breakfast and that others just don’t want to play in the group and that it is all ok. It is not a common experience in Western society to have so many people living so closely together and I feel I have more empathy for the families that live on top of one another in the East or in the shanty towns I saw in South America.

What amazed me was how such a large group of people were able to reconcile - if not appreciate - their differences while practicing non-violent communication (aka 'Compassionate Communication') void of the notoriously disempowering finger point when expressing feelings in a group setting. We encouraged one another to take full responsibility for our choices and yet there was an embracing honesty and accountability. It fascinated me to watch our humanity unfold in this shared intimate space and while I was there to learn more practical teachings so I can build my own sustainable empire one-day; these lessons were undoubtedly invaluable.

The second two weeks had us in the garden planting organic vegetables, creating compost, natural pesticides and veggie patches. Surprisingly I found the garden to be a very welcome retreat from all the activity going on and I loved offering my time and energy to pulling out weeds (very liberating!) while creating a stunning mandala pebble path to beautify the space. I tapped in to the inner gardener in me and am excited to devote more time to crafting edible gardens in the future rather than putting energy in to the supermarket giants and some pretty horrific farming practices.

Deep Ecology lectures and workshops asked us to look at the world and humankinds place within it. How we are behaving on a collective scale and what practical steps one may wish to take to realign with nature and the sustainability of our planet. It was not always easy and through Joanna Macy’s processes we went deep in to honouring the pain of Nature, something Western society feels very uncomfortable with even expressing let alone honouring. These practices were however empowering as we also committed to offering more to the care of our planet.

But what of this for you dear reader? Well, I don’t know if you are with me or not, but I need to be honest about my feelings on how we really treat the planet and ultimately ourselves. I wouldn't say I was anymore perfect than the next person, but I continue persistently to try and learn how to tread lightly and live life with sobriety, implementing energy thoughtfully considering all I have learned.
It’s been a pretty humbling process and not something I expected to find myself doing when I chose to leave corporate life for world explorations.

To completely embody our true nature we must develop a greater awareness, honesty and responsibility for our inside worlds and a gentleness with that. To see the self-limiting beliefs and behaviours that can be deeply embedded in the psyche and drop the masks worn to protect bottled fears inside. I cannot begin to tell you how liberating and expansive that process is but perhaps witnessing my travels around the world might reflect that to you; Anything really is possible. Which is why I remain hopeful.

I hope that the world we create together will reflect a deep compassion, care and practice that is in alignment with the rhythms of nature and to have care - if not reverence - for Nature’s great unifying spirit. 

Interesting article: http://www.theguardian.com/environment/earth-insight/2014/mar/14/nasa-civilisation-irreversible-collapse-study-scientists

Great TED Talk 'Life is Easy. Why do we make it so hard': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21j_OCNLuYg

why i don't eat lipstick

Apparently a financial crisis triggers women to buy lipstick. 

Turns out when the purse strings are tight, women reach for the lip pie as an affordable beauty fix rather than the expensive get up on her proverbial Saturday High Street splurge.

Go figure.

What interests me a bit more though is what it is exactly that the ladies are reaching out for.

According to the latest market research from Lucintel, the global beauty care products industry is forecasted to reach around $265 billion by 2017.

Nearly half what the USA spent on war in this fiscal year (54 percent of all federal discretionary spending).

Needless to say - that is a lot of cosmetic face bomb! 

I could rant on about why women even feel the need to put on their daily war paint, could get a little critical about what it is to be female in the world we live in today and not to mention our very, very challenging unobtainable conditioned concepts of beauty that can tear down a woman's self esteem and bring a whole plethora of issues and dysfunction in to the collective psyche of humankind. 

But I might be here all day.

What I'm intrigued by - right now - is what the hell is in all these cosmetics so many of us are consuming?

I wear make up too sometimes (if not often) and when I decided to take a look at the ingredients of some of my beauty gear, I realised there were a lot of words that I never learnt at school, are unpronounceable and are missing from my vocabulary.

As I've scratched beneath the surface, I've learned a few more things:

• According to the Environmental Working Group, 89 percent of 10,500 ingredients used in personal care products have not been evaluated for safety by the FDA
• In fact, the US federal government doesn’t require any health studies or pre-market testing on personal care products
• As a result, many cosmetics are thought to contain carcinogens, reproductive toxins, and other chemicals that may pose health risks
• Up to 60% of what we put on our skin gets absorbed into the bloodstream

It gets worse: the list of toxic additives present in many cosmetics is jaw-droppingly huge. 

U.S. researchers report that one in eight of the 82,000 ingredients used in personal care products are industrial chemicals. Pfff.

Harmful ingredients in your makeup drawer that should be avoided at all costs include (but are certainly not limited to): Butyl acetate, Butylated hydroxytoluene, Coal tar, Cocamide DEA/lauramide DEA, Diazolidinyl urea, Ethyl acetate, Formaldehyde, Parabens (methyl, ethyl, propyl and butyl), Petrolatum, Phthalates, Propylene glycol, Siloxanes, Sodium laureth/sodium laurel sulfate, Talc, Toluene, Triclosan, and Triethanolamine.

Blimey! Quick!! Open your vanity case and start reading labels like a Walmart shopper on the Atkins diet. In the frozen foods aisle… 

With a microscope…

Would you choose to eat any of the stuff put on your face and body? 

Now this is when I usually get brushed off with a shoulder shrug label such as 'hippie' or 'tree hugger'… not that I don't appreciate a good tree hug :)

But unfortunately for me, the Gods gave me brains too. 

And while thinking hurts sometimes and can take one on wearisome tours, these deep dives really can illuminate ways in which we may be causing harm to ourselves and being very out of harmony with nature. 

The average woman uses 13 products per day with 515 ingredients. That's a lorra lorra of stuff.

And no one really knows how certain chemicals affect us over time, or how they react in our bodies in combination. Some chemicals have known dangers: Phthalates, for example, which are often found in artificial fragrances, are a class of hormone disruptor which can be linked to birth defects, sperm damage, infertility, and the feminization of baby boys, for instance. Oh boy.

So what now?

Well, Mother Nature apparently has a cure for nearly everything, and fortunately these days there are many beauty brands that are keeping their ingredients list as close to the earth as possible.

Some options include:

• Dr Organic (I'm a big fan of their range, especially the deodorant, it actually works ladies!)
• Burts bees (I'm also a fan)
• RMS Beauty
• Tracie Martyn
• Seventh Generation
• J.R. Watkins
• 100% Pure
• Balanced Guru
• Suki
• Kora Organics

Mainly due to my lifestyle - I make for a terrible beauty queen. Much to my mother's disappointment. "Yesssssica - you really need to do your nails!" she says to me when I roll in from a flight having spent the last month or so camping in the wilderness. But I'm ok about my tidy naked nails.

A lovely travel friend persuaded me to give away all my make up in 2011 while I was travelling through India and all I held on to was eye liner, mascara and the occasional blush. And I do really like to use simple natural ingredients on my skin worthy a mention such as:

• Jojoba Oil - a natural hydrating face oil also good for hair
• Coconut Oil - great for dry hair and on skin but only in warm climates (otherwise it solidifies!)
• Avocado/olive/coconut oil, essential oil, salt and ground coffee - a yummy homemade body scrub that leaves the skin so soft

I wouldn't choose to eat them - but they won't hurt me if I did.

I've become so sensitive to the chemical smells we squirt around lately, airport Duty Free's can actually give me a head ache and don't even get me started on household cleaning products.

I've not convinced Mum on the wonders of vinegar and other alternatives - partly because I made her house smell like a fish and chip shop the last time I got evangelistic. But I tried.

Perhaps I might invite you dear reader to spare a thought for what it might be you're putting in your system and what other informed choices you might wish to make in the future…

Nature has a wonderful way of bringing out our natural beauty and thankfully these days, there are options for us to take that might also be healthier for our insides too.

Tree hugger. Over and out.

Useful link: http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/6-crazy-facts-about-the-toxins-in-makeup/

my story is your story

This video is just so stunning. A beautiful message that I had to share.

I spent four years living in Australia and the wisdom of the indigenous, the connection to the land and the beautiful tender environment taught me so much.

"People ask me for my story
but my story is your story
When you cry
Don't you cry the ocean?
When you sweat
Don't you sweat the ocean?
When you drink
Don't you drink the rivers and the rain
And when you wash
Don't you wash into that ocean
so the cycle can start again?"

not sweet enough!?

Bro in the jungles of Palomino, Colombia

I am on a flight between Cartagena (Colombia) and New York (USA). Two incredibly contrasting cultures. I have come fresh out of the jungles of Colombia where I slept in a hammock, washed in a river and cooked on a fire while foraging mangoes and coconuts and staying with a humble shaman's family.

I get served high altitude coffee and despite requesting that the stewardess not give me sugar I get a pile of sugar sachets labelled "Dunkin' Donuts" and "Pure Sugar" on the reverse. One of the most addictive, unhealthy and unpure sources of sugar out there. My inner yogini breathes, surrenders, accepts and goes within to feel this fire sparked. And then in honesty another part of me really doesn't like this. No matter how cool, how chilled and how compassionate one can be, I feel like a boundary has been crossed against my will and because it is socially acceptable, I am expected to subject myself to this unhealthy brands presence in front of me telling me a blatant lie that it is 'real sugar' and whispering 'take me, take me, let me sweeten you up'.

Tip: Sugar makes really good face exfoliator. Rather than throw away the sugar one may wish to mix it with natural soap and make a yummy face scrub.

But this is just the start of my gears getting lightly grinded as my weary mind and body traverse across dimensions. I know it is probably due to my time drinking "La Medicina" (an indiginous cleansing potion) with my brother and the shaman a few days before that I am sensitive. I am feeling incredibly in touch with these emotions and when I find myself talking to the American guy next to me, I again find myself fired up.

Before I know it I am passionately explaining how the mass consumptive culture nurtured in the Western world needs to end. That things are being made to last little time before being thrown away and replaced with 'the latest model', that people are being taught to care about the wrong things, that peak oil is coming, that too much power is in the hands of the few... before I finish, said American looks at me suspiciously.

"Are you a communist?" he interrupts me.
"No" I reply politely. "But I do have common sense".

Gosh, I'm no angel. I've worked with the big banks, big FMCGS etc. I know (second-hand) that Coca-Cola wonders how to get a child to drink 7 cans of the stuff to create a newly addicted consumer.

Tip: Coke makes really good silver jewellery polish, teeth and stomach rotter.

That and a few other secrets of this world that won't be able to sustain the growing populations and demands of the middle-classes of the 'emerging markets' where people also want the latest and bestest of stuff built to last a year before the latest model comes out.

I want to cry. I want to shout. I want people to see how out of harmony we are with the world we are here to protect. The innocent children manipulated. The women made to feel inadequate. The religions made to feel self-righteous. The men commoditised. People taught to fight for a freedom that is a lie. To be at war for a 'democracy' ruled by an elite. Oh I'm so fired up and so I explain simply:

Finite resources plus mass consumption equates to the destruction of our planet. The one living organism that we are all collectively a part of and that, I believe, will also be doing a ceremonious cleanse of itself if human beings persist on being the cancerous body that destroys it.

While I say this, knowing that I am returning to the vibrant, interesting, alive yet fiercely loud, interruptive and competitive city of New York, a part of me longs to be back by the rivers of the jungle again. Despite the mosquito bites apparently caused by too much sugar, the lack of internet and homely comforts of hot showers, a fridge and stand up kitchen. At least there I felt a serene sense of connection where nature gave me what I needed without forcing products, ideas, labels and stuff on to me. Messages telling me to fill divine emptiness with clutter and insecurity. Messages feeding my human ego and telling me to be selfish and want more.

I can't direct any anger at anyone person. We are all part of this silly machine we've built and while one may, to an extent, need to adapt in order to survive (make money), another part of me wishes that we had the power to create a more responsible, sustainable and harmonious culture transcending these lesser human desires. That perhaps more people had that space and time in nature to truly see how beautiful simplicity is. And how much collectively, we need to protect our home for the sake of our own survival as a species and, dare I say, we could all do with slowing doooooooooown.

I am afraid Dunkin' Donuts sugar sachets are a long way of that.

Tip: But they do have free internet.

there's no place like home

It was Sunday 25th September 2011. I was wide awake at 3am feeling a wee bit lost and confused. I had a good friend on the other end of the line kind enough to put my situation in to perspective and remind me of my deep down wish to travel and that there was nothing (besides my job) holding me back.

The next morning, before I had chance to change my mind, I handed in my notice. Shortly after I was booking flights to the destinations that had called me; Japan, India, Nepal and Argentina while preparing a spreadsheet complete with budgets, destinations, timings etc. By the 29th of October I was hosting my "not goodbye party" with my nearest and dearest of Sydney preparing for my next adventure.

I estimated that my life savings could afford me one year of travel; finally the belated gap year that I'd always dreamt of! I gave myself enough time to work out where I wanted to resettle after leaving Sydney behind, while also allowing some quality time to myself, to creative projects, to explore the world and devote to family.

Benchmarking the duration of my travels against my savings was both the stupidest and smartest commitment I made to myself. My savings incidentally have stretched a lot further (with the odd surprise top up through working as a teacher, giving therapies or cooking as a chef on a super-yacht) while life created 'money can't buy' experiences that I could have never even dreamed of... taking me further from Argentina on to Venezuela, Antigua, touring Europe, the USA and Colombia. And despite all these blessed opportunities to keep moving... I have wanted to stop and settle down at pretty much every country I have visited.

It's been 32 months that I've travelled solo. I've couch-surfed, hired rooms, rented apartments, slept on various surfaces in various conditions and in various moving vehicles. The outside world has taken me up mountains and across oceans. I have never felt so alive and yet I've never felt so alone. So vulnerable and yet so fearlessly empowered.

I've met all kinds of people. The faithless and the faithful. The open and the closed. The resentful and the forgiving. The obnoxious and the timid. The wealthy and the poor. Characters who's hearts bleed for something or someone that they lost or had to let go of.

This nomadic lady has filled her boots with the ups and downs that one endures in the world of the unknown pushing the boundaries of the human spirit. While also giving myself the space and time to heal and grow while nurturing the patience and love to care for another. I've also prayed a lot. I'm pretty sure I've saved lives and pretty sure, I've had mine saved a few times too.

I've laughed so much at the world's ridiculousness and cried more tears than I knew I had. I've been struck by panic in the rush of neon city chaos and felt the comforting relief of arriving at the station just in time for a long bumpy bus journey. I've got myself supremely lost and faced some unpleasant fears yet had enough giggles and light hearted experiences to lift me out of them. I've been gravely disappointed by unconscious behaviour yet filled with joy at another's sincere generosity. I've felt abandoned to the core and loved to the max. Blimey has it been intense; the wrinkles and the scars do enough of the talking.

Last week I finally ran out of travel savings just as I arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina. As I neared the end of the savings bucket I realised all my insecurities tied up in money. While I recognise it as a form of energy, there's so much conditioning we can have around capital and I'm glad I allowed myself to go there and wonder on my own worth along with it. Of course if I wanted to make money, with the skills and experience I have I could get a paid job easily, but I wanted to know this feeling and stick to my promise to keep going until I ran out. This feeling of not being able to afford to do what I want to do and humbly accept it. To live on the bare minimum and to swallow my pride in accepting the hospitality of another. To feel supremely insecure and take full responsibility for it. And of course to finally reach the end of this chapter of my life and arrive independently with my marbles intact.

The concept of home has been much food for thought along the way. Is it a matter of having walls to decorate or friends to see? Is it my family? Is it a country that speaks my language? Or is it the person(s) I am in love with? The world has shown me so many homes and I must admit the one I have loved the most, besides nature, was that of the poorest family I stayed with in a small village in the Himalayas of India. Perhaps it was their humility and acceptance that I was so moved by, their ability to live simply and so connected to the land and their welcome, love and support for one another and their community.

So I turn 30 this year. I left England when I was 22 and hit the road after a break up at 26. These years have been the most defining and remarkable collection of moments of my life which I'll continue to be grateful for in many years to come. And it's also quite plain to see that they've also been the most reflective time of my life... Sorry about that readers! Yet the greatest realisation of this long winded tour has got to be; as much as the journey is the destination - there's no place like home. 

Where is that exactly? Well for me it's a place of being and personally, a journey to go on that no-one else can do for you and at times may require strength, courage and grace.

stonehenge spiritual rituals in crappy british weather

The Summer Solstice is the most important day of the year at Stonehenge and a truly magical time to be there. It's a time of celebration that brings together England's New Age Tribes (neo-druids, neo-pagans, Wiccans) with ordinary families, tourists, travelers and party people - 10,000's of them! 

At the heart of Druidism lies a love of Nature and of her changing faces as the seasons turn. Eight times a year, once every six weeks or so, Druids participate in a celebration that expresses this love and last year I was kindly invited to join the druids for their celebrations at the British pre-historic monuments where they have exclusive access to perform their energetic rites at the stones. 

This is a time of fertility and celebration: bonfires, maypoles, dancing, and outdoor festivals have been traditional during this time for most of human history. In some modern Pagan faiths it is believed that this holiday represents the highest ascendancy of masculine divinity.

In my experience - in true British style - it was so bloody wet! We slept in cars and did various meditations throughout the 12 hour long overnight ceremony which required commitment especially in England's summer downpours from sunset to dawn. First we did a meditation in a remote field where in a circle, affirmations to connect with the divine were made as we meditated together. At one point during the speech of one of the elders a huge gust of wind blew at the most divine point of his speech, that put all my hairs on end as the sensations overcame my being and I felt a wave of dizziness while I meditated in the muddy field that my wellies were sinking in to.

Around 4.30am we arose for the final sunrise meditation at the stones. The rain poured down on us as words in the old English were proclaimed in the ceremonious celebration of mother nature and love for humanity.

Throughout my life I've been a part of many different spiritual practices which in my heart I feel is an cathartic way of connecting and healing one's being; whether through ritual, ceremony, contemplation or creation, while demonstrating a humility for mother nature that which envelops, nurtures and unites us. This time round, perhaps given it lacked the mystical mantras of a foreign language but was grounded in the stories that preceded Christianity, I found the experience really intriguing and a little bit funny.

I mean there I was, in my white gown over waterproofs and wellingtons, walking around in divine cosmic time to meditate on ancient stones while hearing words such as "Walk forth torch bearer!" in the country I was born. In one aspect it was amazingly powerful within me. I mean the energy created by this devotional act was to a vibration of cosmic levels that if you haven't experienced - you might think I was nuts. Yet, in another aspect, lets call it an egoic identification with personality, I felt like I was in a funny play where the characters all spoke English with funny accents using old linguistic terms and funky props to connect with their truth and the divine. My inner cynic would've written it off as some ridiculous ritual, but as one beautiful soul brother I met in Nepal reminded me "isn't life one ridiculous ritual?" and who am I to say what is the best path to take or rite to make in order to create a sacred space for divinity? And the truth is, after the ceremony, something did change within me. I became friends with a pain that had haunted me for far too long. Perhaps it took for me to meditate under the stars, in the shitty British weather, aligned to the divine shifts of the cosmos and Earth's seasons at some old stones to finally say "its ok to let go now".

See here for more info on the Druid order and special thanks to Cristel who I met at a yoga retreat in India for the kind auspicious invitation. There are more images on my photoblog.

lost & tripping with shamans in NYC

Aya: Awakenings - Trailer from Rak Razam on Vimeo.

For all those seeds the vine has touched, and for those yet to sprout....   

Rushing through the cold streets of drizzly New York City after a couple of mis-directions on the subway, I finally arrived at the cinema. I looked around “is this the right place” I asked myself as I mopped my sweaty brow and took in a deep centering breath. While according to my friend Kyle, getting lost may arguably be my forte, being late is something I constantly work with in the land of time especially since my watch strap decided to snap (and not having a phone etc.) 

The scent of sage filled my nostrils and soothed my nerves while affirming that despite being a little late for the showing; I had arrived at the right place. This was the evening I was going on a trip to the Amazon and thanks to my tardiness, my friend and I (sorry Pablo!) were forcibly sat on the front row for some airborne journeys of Pacha Mamma spirit through shamanic medicines in Rak Razam’s latest documentary; AYA Awakenings.

While personally, I advocate meditation; it did become very clear to me that there are medicines out there for those searching for that heart opening experience of oneness. I asked Rak some questions after what was a wonderfully insightful experience. 

1. For those who do not know about Ayahuasca can you describe its qualities?

Ayahuasca is an indigenous plant medicine from the Amazon that combines MAO-inhibiting vine with DMT-containing plants for a hallucinogenic (visionary healing modality. You can feel the vine seeping through your blood and body as it locks onto your vibrational frequency and starts clearing and healing blockages and supressions, ills and hurts. It can be a bitter earthy medicine, or sometimes neutral, thick or syrupy, and like most medicines it usually tastes awful. But it is the most powerful tool in the Amazonian shaman's medicine cabinet. It's been proven to scientifically relink up the synapses of the brain flushing it clean, and you purge and vomit up any sicknesses within you, whilst simultaneously being thrust into a world of geometric visions, sometimes spirits, entities, and multi-dimensional reality!

2. In the documentary, one of the most powerful shots was sharing your experience during the Ayahuasca ritual. In as far as words can describe, what was that like?

I liken it to a connection to the web of life, but a visceral, real, immediate and emotional connection. Ayahuasca opened up my heart chakra, my ability to feel, my intellectual-empathic pathways to feel the fact that there are no negative spaces separating us from everything... we are all connected in the Great Green Womb where we are all one, the atomic sea of vibrational consciousness itself. To feel the wind and the breath of mother nature, to hear the frogs and insects and know with a certainty they are talking with one another and pouring through spirit in the sounds, connecting and cascading the other species in the web, to feel that connection and the intimacy of life itself is transforming.

3. Has that changed the way you perceive and interact with the world?

I think so. I'm in the baseline world most of the time, but with an overlay memory of that interconnection and awareness of the larger matrix of nature and us as one species strand in the collective, interdependent whole. Every thought, word, action and deed ripples through the web of becoming and that remembrance reminds me to be as present, loving and understanding as I can in each moment. Sometimes that 'holographic awareness' can see the causal domino effect as certain events and things interact and connect to the larger whole, and sometimes I can see those strands and how they connect with an empathic knowing. The world is alive and aware and we are but one layer of Gaia's never endings in matter...!

4. One of your panelists mentioned the power of one's imagination. What are your thoughts on the mainstream media's impact on this in our present world?

The imagination has become ensconced in the mind forg'd manacles Blake wrote about in our modern age. Imagination has at once been commodified down to a narrow bandwidth of possibility, and the cultural dreamings we once had in our tribal mythologies are erased, or worst, co-opted and turned into saccharine Hollywood films. The heroic archetype has similarly been commodified by Hollywood like a virus that has taken control of the host body and is used to tap into this deep longing the human race has to express its imagination, which for me is linked to intuition and can be used as a valuable psychic tool to carve out the imaginal realm, to make manifest what we dream amongst an infinite sea of morphing probability. Imagination can be our GPS to survive, to dream in a better world, to improve the human condition, to think outside the box and to magically make real probability streams to anchor the thing we dream. Imagination is our anchor to the infinite, more than its come to mean in the denuded western entertainment complex: I-mage-i-nation is a holy, spiritual act where we overlap with Great Spirit and know and become.

5. What is your vision for the future of mankind and our planet?

Well let's talk sustainability - what does that mean? Ditching hierarchies, power (or revealing power has always been about the collective, the tribe, the majority) and collecting and connecting in networks, tribes, extended family structures that understand needs and wants, taking only what they need, and feeding the web of life around in all directions. Letting go of the old world of division, loving and caring for all our fellow being and species as interdependent units in a greater whole, working together for maximum connection and meaning.

Plant entheogens can reveal our own divinity, our soul, and at the same time reveal the frequency of soul we are embedded in, the existence of an ecology of souls and sentience that extends far beyond the physical. I feel the plants are tuning us back into these potentials as training wheels, and the medicine helps us remember our full beings as galactic citizens, and sometime soon we won't need the medicines, but will step forth with the ability to engage with the greater whole. 

More info on AYA Ayahuasca USA Tour 

the polar bear connection

People who know me well enough will know that I have a 'thing' for Polar Bears. It is a little cringing. I sometimes liken it to Britney Spears' obsession with fairies and then I feel even more silly. However, I cannot deny that whenever I see stories about polar bears the child in me gets all soppy and wants to save them.

Standon Calling Fairies @ Super Cape-Abilities

My good friend Candice Quartermain (formerly Landsman) has a similar connection with killer whales and horses. She's really grown up so when the Britney Spears association makes me feel like a muppet I remind myself of 'Landice' and allow myself to feel cool and compassionate through her inspiration. Nothing wrong with loving animals after all. In fact fairies aren't even real (I am really sorry if that statement just killed one) but I mean... they're like not animals that need protecting. Admittedly I did meet a couple of fairies recently at Standon Calling music festival who granted me a wish by virtue of a glittery fairy dusting, so I shouldn't write them off... but well... they're not Polar Bears and they looked pretty happy and safe making capes to complement their wings and pink hair.


Now one of the most wonderfully illuminating realisations I've had on my travels has been the understanding of why Polar Bears are my 'favourite'...

As a child I went to Venezuela a lot to visit my mother's side of the family. There I would witness and perhaps even empathise with my father and uncles joy as they would be tucking in to the local Venezuelan beer... POLAR BEER. As you can imagine, this year I smiled a lot to myself as I, an adult, had the opportunity to embrace two loves at the same time; beer and polar bears. And now despite realising this personal conditioning and very amusing synchronicity; I still love polar bears. Obviously. They're awesome creatures.

Recently I read that polar bears 'may need to be fed by humans to survive', and my love and kinship for this giant mammal went to another level. I was heart broken at Berlin Zoo seeing Knut looking desperately misplaced and lonely and now seeing that it might take for Polar Bears to become a nuisance to mankind for the issue to really come to the fore really makes me wonder. Without adequate sea ice for enough of the year, bears will not be able to use ice as a feeding platform to hunt their favoured prey, seals, hence will be forced to spend more time fasting on land and posing a risk to human populations on the Arctic. The future's looking pretty bleak for this beautiful animal.

Global warming is directly affecting this animal's survival and no matter where you stand on the issue, it is safe to say that mankind is mostly ignorant to the idea of loving and protecting nature if our collective behaviour is anything to go by. I mean we do have a very unfortunate and shocking tendency to kill one another in big wars that we often don't fully understand the political undertones of.

On a very basic level, littering is a classic example of ignorance. I have found myself giving 'a look' to people chucking their waste on the street biting my tongue sometimes. Some people who claim to be 'spiritual' or 'awake' or 'in love with the world'... and of course this behaviour is unconscious, forgivable and another conditioning or lack of education and we can't be expected to be perfect human beings HOWEVER I suppose this wee polar bear is getting really disappointed with it... The question I find myself pondering is; will it take mankind to absolutely destroy this planet before we come to the realisation that we cannot eat money? 

And when that time comes... will polar bears already be dead?

I sincerely hope not. 


Dear God please can we not destroy it by nuclear activity, cockroaches (one of the few animals likely to survive) and I have a very, very strained relationship.

tender radicalism, dolphins in japan

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Recently I was given a book to read "Rules for Radicals" by Saul D. Alinsky (free pdf) and a documentary I have been wanting to watch for a long time, The Cove. I laughed to myself about the book... an insightful read nevertheless.

I suppose it appeals to the little activist in me who feels a bit heart broken every time she sees the ignorant destruction we're causing to ourselves and the planet.  I guess one of the side-affects of travel is the opportunity to witness the scale of mankind's ignorance and stupidity. This really is the 'Age of Stupid' on so many levels, but thankfully, there are people out there that through their awareness, passion and creativity provoke us to realise it and perhaps even, change our ways and perspectives a little.

One quote I loved from this movie is "Society doesn't change through Government, it changes through the passions of individuals". 

I was also brought up on Flipper and wanted to swim with dolphins. Its still a dream of mine. However, realising how wonderfully conscious, beautiful, empathetic and intelligent these creatures are, I'd rather learn from them than support a cruel industry of Seaworlds and mass aquatic murders.

When I was in Japan at the tsunami volunteers camp the camp was donated tinned whale meat from the local fisheries. The fisheries close enough to the two nuclear power-plants which were damaged from the tsunami (the second very much kept under wraps by media).

Its saddening to think that the gorgeous volunteers who dedicate their life to rebuilding a place destroyed, practically left to die by the government, are eating toxic meat unbeknown to them. I understand the notion of 'cultural pursuits' but there's got to be a line drawn somewhere between mass destruction, pollution of the oceans and maintaining tradition. Not to mention the nuclear stuff which I'll hold my tongue on.

This documentary is a wonderful demonstration of how a person's passion can create change and, in all honesty, makes me want to be a mermaid, go to Japan and save the dolphins. Sadly I can't do that right now - so I'm sharing this documentary instead. 

parvati, its not all about drugs.

Parvati valley, home of the Gods and the highest of India’s Holy Gangas is being poisoned.

“What would Shiva say?” was a question posed to students at Challal primary school as we sought to educate this next generation on the challenges their land faces in the name of progress. And a question you might wish to ask yourself also.

Without infrastructure to manage waste, an influx of tourists, guesthouses and plastic, the natural beauty of the Parvati Valley suffers. Poisonous waste has been thrown in to the precious rivers contaminating the purity of drinking water, the stomachs of grazing animals and the beauty of the valley. The future of these dramatic mountains is in the hands of India and yet in a time of economic growth, one might ask what does this say about the future of this nation?

If there is one thing I have learned about India; its where the heart lives and that is in and of its people to create change. A country that can’t have faith in its government. But can love and support its fellow man in the desperatist of times. And yet I see a familiar change on the horizon...

Coming from Britain, I have experienced the virtues of growing up in middle-class surroundings, living in a welfare state, getting a good education with high standards of living. Yet India spoke to my heart, she made me realise that we are not alone, the value of family, compassion and patience. And that we don’t need as much as society leads us to believe in order to be happy.

In England, we tend to have a mentality of ‘each man for himself’, we are separate from one another, don’t hold eye contact and our economy is maintained by the dark shadows that wonder through grey cold streets in London donning black suits climbing the ladders of perceived wealth. I love the sobering irony of having a nose in someone's armpit on the rush hour tube while avoiding any form of communication with one another at all cost.

"Money is the world's second God" A Himalayan Babaji explained to me. I've seen that in the West. How we buy. We buy. We buy. Blindly subscribing to the latest fashion, buying the latest gadget, believing the ideas that create an addicted nation through fear. But, don’t trust me, I also worked in advertising and in corporate finance :)

Kali Yuga, an old baba told me, is a time of draculas. Apparently that time is now. And what could be more symbolic than the life we suck out of mother nature around the world? Thankfully, in Britain, we can still turn a tap in the kitchen a drink clean water. We can shower with our eyes open and set the temperature to our skin’s comfort. We can walk the streets and not witness lines of degrading waste and smell the rotting garbage. And we can climb our comparatively feeble mountains and not find garbage that will live longer than we and our children stand to survive while polluting the rivers that flow through it.

But India, you are different. Where else in the world can a man wander the streets bare feet in a yellow robe and be offered alms? And you have such devotion to your Gods. How you demonstrate worship by making such sacrifices! The cues to make puja (prayer) in the temples would not last the patience of an Englishman. Your respect, devotion and faith inspired me. It inspired me, but, alas also let me down. Again I see the hypocrisy of man. You’ll pray to Sakti and in the same life carelessly throw poisons in to her land. "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" I was taught in school. How fear can make us lose our way.

The constant duality of devotion and destruction was hard for me to accept in Parvati Valley.

Parvati Valley was my home. I found myself roaming in the Himalayas, studying yoga and learning about survival amongst the beautiful people and wildlife that live there. And while I accept impermanence as a constant, in my heart I have faith that people might wake up and realise that if they really love God, then they might try, a little, to be inspired by the wonderful selfless idol they pray to daily and do something to protect Mother India’s land in his/her name.

Plastic takes over two centuries to degrade and with big companies such as Coca-Cola, Parle and Good Day increasingly residing in these mountains the land is being destroyed and the river, the life source, contaminated. Glass takes an Ice Age to degrade, burning plastic releases dangerous toxins in to the atmosphere which cause cancer and so the question needs to be asked – what can we do to protect prakrti (nature)? These substances are poisonous if they're not disposed of properly. And they say "Time is running out."

Unfortunately, in the holy mountains of India, too little is done.

Parvati Valley. Attempts to be more green.

A group of foreign volunteers organised clean ups along the riverside, on one occassion with the President and village Mayor we watched the transformation of the land as years of plastic and glass was dug out from the ground.

Caste pride had to be swallowed. I wondered whether caste pride was swallowed in the name of politics as I watched these honory members in the community. I respect the caste system of India but personally, I don’t see truth when it instils pride, judgement and discontentment to the extent where one cannot pick up a piece of mindlessly discarded plastic without feeling shame. Creating an illusion of separateness.

One day I shook the hand of a small child and gave her an apple; on-lookers were agasp. She was a ‘rag-picker’, akin to the young boys of Slumdog Millionaire, collecting plastic in exchange for rupees, essentially removing recycleable waste left to decompose and damage the land and yet in the eyes of the villagers watching, she was filth and whatsmore untouchable. In my eyes; she was an angel. At least someone was respecting mother nature even if it was unconsciously; in order to survive.

Drugs, deaths and dramas.

As the rave party season hit Kasol, Parvatti Valley, many of India’s youth from Delhi and Mumbai headed to the mountains to dance under the sky, enjoy the gushing sound of rivers and move to musical trance beats.

This year a darkness swept over the valley as chemical drugs, a rape case and deaths saw dramas unfold in the village of Kasol – Parvati was not amused and neither were the locals.

This infamous music scene of India that has the propensity to bring like minded hearts and souls in to ‘Oneness’ under the stunning backdrop of the Himalayas drew a different kind of attention. Parvati valley came under the spotlight. Media quizzed police narcotic superintendents, police stop and searches all perpetuated an image that Parvati is a valley of darkness, for drug barons and young people to dance with the devil.

It was dark believe me. I was there. Having been there in the low season thawing my finger tips in the belated winter snows - I witnessed this 'darkside' approach the valley. People I knew became paranoid. Locals became uncomfortable. Tourists scarpered.

And so one of the biggest experiences for me on my travels was living in Parvati Valley, Himachal Pradesh, India. I saw the law of cause and affect quite clearly. I saw the corruption and materialistic mindedness that slowly works its way through remote India and of course, I saw, smelled and listened to a LOT of absolute garbage while witnessing its destructive impact upon India's holy Himalayas.

Indian people ask me “Where’s your country?”
“Everywhere and nowhere” I respond. I get a smile.

“Who are you working for?” watching as I colour in another "Nature is God" sign.

“Nature” I respond.

“Where’s your husband?” I am asked. I am nearing 28 afterall.

“Shiva is my husband” I say and I get a laugh, a nod and a knowing smile.

When I looked at the world from afar, I realised how short life really is. And there’s a love I have for those big giant hills that speak to the wind and brush the clouds. Nature was my teacher and I was put to work. Although if I am honest, all I really did was listen to my heart; something that I was forced to do when I left life in Australia.

As for Parvati Valley. Well that place is certainly not all about drugs. While apparently the best hash comes from there and the turbulent chemical romance takes place during the festive season, it has much much more to it than meets the eye. India's Hindu God Shiva lived there, with his wife Parvati, and I can understand why. They weren't just good dancers...

While we might live in times of vampires, of ego, war and destruction, we also live in a time of constant change. We have our own way of learning. Mine evidently was cleaning garbage. On the inside I did much more. 

“Be the change you want to see in the world” said Gandhi. 

Realising that we all share responsibility whether we want to live in a Western individualised  money orientated existence and take the weight of the world on our own shoulders or whether we share it with our family, community and pray to a temple. We all are a part of the whole. 

Meanwhile mother nature, the hand that feeds us, is getting bitten... least we can do is show her some respect especially in the land of the Gods.