my story is your story

This video is just so stunning. A beautiful message that I had to share.

I spent four years living in Australia and the wisdom of the indigenous, the connection to the land and the beautiful tender environment taught me so much.

"People ask me for my story
but my story is your story
When you cry
Don't you cry the ocean?
When you sweat
Don't you sweat the ocean?
When you drink
Don't you drink the rivers and the rain
And when you wash
Don't you wash into that ocean
so the cycle can start again?"

honour time & happiness

Too often in life we find ourselves entangled in stuff, being drawn away from ourselves or getting stuck in a loop of behaviour patterns that disempower us.

Thanks to my old friend and 'gay husband' Faz Bags for this simple empowering exercise that he kindly shared with me.

It is such a great exercise for thinking about one's well-being and honouring the sacredness of time; a resource we all have a limited supply of and so in my humble opinion, must appreciate. "This too will pass" is a wonderful little reminder for that.

So...

Take out a sheet of paper, and a pen.

On the left side of the page, list all the ways you've been spending time on things that don't serve your goals of being happy, healthy and wise. For me I realised I spend a lot of time on social media which can distract me from the here and now. Thank God I don't use a smart phone.

On the right side, tell yourself how you will use that same time to your advantage, or how you can shift time around to make space for your goals. Even 5 minutes a day spent stressing less and healing more is extra healing you didn't have before. And when it comes to transformation, it all adds up!

Then, tape that sheet up on the fridge, and whenever you see it, remember to re-orient your day by using that brain of yours that's so good at getting what it wants to move your body into brand new habits that YOU want.

When I did this exercise in 2011 I came off Facebook, took up daily yoga practice, herbal tea and woke up every day with the mantra "carpe diem" trying one new thing every day. Spontaneously. This was my prescription in the wake of a break up and they were great new habits that I got to share with friends.

For people looking to get a step closer to their dharma, their purpose or calling(s) in life,
this exercise below is really empowering and simple to start brainstorming with to create a life you love.

Anyway I hope this helps.

Keep smiling - its good for you - as is being great.

5 things money can’t buy

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself, Love possesses not nor would it be possessed: For love is sufficient unto love.” – The Prophet 

More "Funny Money" images here.

As many jectaspecta readers will know, I decided about 3 years ago to go traveling until money ran out. I stepped out of the game, had paid my debts, never had a credit card and only had my personal life savings to financially support myself.

Every now and then I would get paid for good deeds done on tour, but otherwise, life has sustained me by living humbly.

It has not been easy.

Neither is it easy being in London without money and working as a yogini (which is integrally non-competitive).

All things said however, I have realised some personal truths on what gives meaning and value to life which I thought would be worth sharing.

1. Moments with loved ones.
Being with someone I care for, having their presence in my life and sharing good times is the most heart-warmingly divine experience. That time when Dad and I played backgammon and I won three times in a row is among many of those moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

 2. Naked tumbles.
Those moments of love-wrapped intimacy can transcend everything. A Sunday spent naked in the arms of another, empty tea cups by the bed and the musky scent of naked tumbles steaming from the sheets is something you can never put a price on.

3. That light in time of need.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes there are storms leaving one feeling lost and afraid (I learned this sailing in the Caribbean). When there are disasters personal or at scale, the most natural thing for a human being to want to do is be there to help. Having someone there in those moments of darkness can be the light that guides you through. Like a lighthouse as your boat comes in to port through stormy seas, their presence is invaluable.

4. That last bite. 
It’s amazing how scarcity invites one to reflect on the meaningful things in life. As human beings we don’t need as much as we are lead to believe and when hungry one truly appreciates every morsel. We live in a world where there’s enough for everyone. But we don’t have enough for everyone’s greed. Appreciating the small things; kind gestures and last bites is worth more than any amount of money taken for granted.

5. Love.
With everything and with nothing - the hearts of gold will love you no matter what. No amount of stuff and no amount of money will ever change that. Love is the most powerful force on Earth; it purifies karma and teaches us lessons in all its feeling and through all its pains.

BONUS: NATURE.

"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money" - Cree Indian Proverb

Being a happy-go-lucky character living in Australia, insulated from some of the harsh realities of this planet, I didn't realise how sensitive I would be to some of the deeply saddening circumstances people live in and behaviours cultures can deem acceptable.

What has continually pulled me through is nature (and inner strength!) Experiencing unity with nature has lead to the most healing, empowering and awakening experiences.

We live in urban swells far removed from the stillness, serenity and spirit of nature. Furthermore, we are incredibly wasteful as a species and our mass consumptive behaviour has devastating results on our environment.

I feel passionately about this subject and I hope technology and infrastructure can keep up with the growing demands of increasingly westernised nations such as India and China with their growing demands and consumerist paradigm of 'buy the latest' while destroying our land and contaminating waters with toxins.

I likewise hope to see consciousness evolve to a level where cultures can unite and become more harmonious with one another, while humans act as the guardians of the planet we once were, yet somehow in our insanity, lost along the way.

IN OTHER WORDS: 

NATURE. NATURE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE!!!

what are you afraid of?

This video might be the best 15 minutes of your day in front of your computer via Thrilling Heroics

My Dad is afraid of heights.

He explained that fear of heights is either the fear of falling or the fear of jumping.

This last few years travelling to the tune of my heart I learned that one of my biggest fears has been not to live.

Has anyone ever felt like they had ridiculously little time left?

That was me before I packed my bags.

And despite knowing my shift in lifestyle challenges so many of the old man's paradigms from the era of work to make money etc. "You are dreaming Jess" is what he tells me. Gosh don't I know it!? (tips for dreamers here).

I still say with hand on heart to anyone reading this;

JUMP!

UPDATE: Dad said he is conquering his fear of heights. This year he zip-wired.

Go Dad!

stonehenge spiritual rituals in crappy british weather

The Summer Solstice is the most important day of the year at Stonehenge and a truly magical time to be there. It's a time of celebration that brings together England's New Age Tribes (neo-druids, neo-pagans, Wiccans) with ordinary families, tourists, travelers and party people - 10,000's of them! 

At the heart of Druidism lies a love of Nature and of her changing faces as the seasons turn. Eight times a year, once every six weeks or so, Druids participate in a celebration that expresses this love and last year I was kindly invited to join the druids for their celebrations at the British pre-historic monuments where they have exclusive access to perform their energetic rites at the stones. 

This is a time of fertility and celebration: bonfires, maypoles, dancing, and outdoor festivals have been traditional during this time for most of human history. In some modern Pagan faiths it is believed that this holiday represents the highest ascendancy of masculine divinity.

In my experience - in true British style - it was so bloody wet! We slept in cars and did various meditations throughout the 12 hour long overnight ceremony which required commitment especially in England's summer downpours from sunset to dawn. First we did a meditation in a remote field where in a circle, affirmations to connect with the divine were made as we meditated together. At one point during the speech of one of the elders a huge gust of wind blew at the most divine point of his speech, that put all my hairs on end as the sensations overcame my being and I felt a wave of dizziness while I meditated in the muddy field that my wellies were sinking in to.

Around 4.30am we arose for the final sunrise meditation at the stones. The rain poured down on us as words in the old English were proclaimed in the ceremonious celebration of mother nature and love for humanity.

Throughout my life I've been a part of many different spiritual practices which in my heart I feel is an cathartic way of connecting and healing one's being; whether through ritual, ceremony, contemplation or creation, while demonstrating a humility for mother nature that which envelops, nurtures and unites us. This time round, perhaps given it lacked the mystical mantras of a foreign language but was grounded in the stories that preceded Christianity, I found the experience really intriguing and a little bit funny.

I mean there I was, in my white gown over waterproofs and wellingtons, walking around in divine cosmic time to meditate on ancient stones while hearing words such as "Walk forth torch bearer!" in the country I was born. In one aspect it was amazingly powerful within me. I mean the energy created by this devotional act was to a vibration of cosmic levels that if you haven't experienced - you might think I was nuts. Yet, in another aspect, lets call it an egoic identification with personality, I felt like I was in a funny play where the characters all spoke English with funny accents using old linguistic terms and funky props to connect with their truth and the divine. My inner cynic would've written it off as some ridiculous ritual, but as one beautiful soul brother I met in Nepal reminded me "isn't life one ridiculous ritual?" and who am I to say what is the best path to take or rite to make in order to create a sacred space for divinity? And the truth is, after the ceremony, something did change within me. I became friends with a pain that had haunted me for far too long. Perhaps it took for me to meditate under the stars, in the shitty British weather, aligned to the divine shifts of the cosmos and Earth's seasons at some old stones to finally say "its ok to let go now".

See here for more info on the Druid order and special thanks to Cristel who I met at a yoga retreat in India for the kind auspicious invitation. There are more images on my photoblog.

learning from angels

Having spent the last week at a community centre in the slums of Medellin volunteering as an English teacher and playing with grubby little beautiful children, I thought it would be worth me sharing my experience.

Firstly, I can't believe how emotional this work is. One would think after all the heartbreak; there'd be a strong wall of equanimity built around this heart with eyes accustomed to witnessing extreme poverty; but for me at least, the opposite is true. The walls have crumbled away and I am perpetually moved by these gorgeous little children that just want to play and know how to smile with so little. They want to skip ropes and do jigsaw puzzles. They want to learn English so they can one day have a good job. They want their family to be healthy and have dreams of seeing the world. Saying goodbye the other day, I was followed to the bus stop and waved off by two shouting little monkey-faces while the little rickety red bus headed away from their village to bounce on the dusty dirt track back down the mountain. This my heart wasn't quite prepared for and I've shed a tear or two in that humble realisation that perhaps I really have no idea.

But I don't want to paint a sad picture, because it isn't sad, it's really bloody good. There are places in the world, on the ground, that bring people with hearts and hands of kindness to those that need it. It's amazing. And the work has true meaning for everyone. I ran a workshop the other day to invite the kids to create their dreams on behalf of The Dreamflag Project. Wow it was so cool. Children of all ages were engaged in envisioning their wishes for themselves, the world and their loved ones and making flags that were then hung around the classroom.

Obviously Valentine's day was going to be unconventional. My 'date' involved bringing my couchsurf host and friend Juan Pablo with me; up to the slums via a cable car and on a rickety bus up a dirt track in order to hang out with poor dirty children. Not the most romantic one might argue.

Juan Pablo is an amazing conductor (his work here) for the city youth orchestra and despite now being a successful musician and professor at the University, his beginnings were also humble and poor. He took responsibility for his family; Mum, two sisters and now two nephews and as he explained to me, was 'saved by music'. He found a place in music where he could escape the discomforts of his living situation and focus his energies on something beautiful. Now he's an example of hope for these children.

So a group of valentine volunteers trekked up to the remoter part of the slums; we bought bananas, snacks and toothbrushes to give to the children and visited two of the disabled members of the community in the remote area to give food and care just in time for the rains to fall down on us and create mudslides through the pathways separating the little shacks. I was amazed at the gentleman we met who was handicapped and had set up a little gallery to sell his paintings. They were lovely and his spirit was so positive.

After a full on day, we returned back to the apartment in Medellin. I smiled with a sense of gratitude for the day, despite feeling pretty exhausted. I then had the pleasure of cooking dinner for my host; curried beans, rice and platano followed by strawberries and ice-cream for dessert. Juan Pablo is also bisexual and unfortunately, in this strongly Catholic culture, there's shame associated with that. Which is why I suggested we went dancing at a cool gay bar last night to finish off a full on day. It was a very cool experience being surrounded by gorgeous latin men without attracting anything other than a joyous giggle (probably at my dance moves and perhaps the odd cheesey pop singer impersonation). It was extra fun seeing Juan Pablo enjoy himself there.

I woke up this morning to an email from a friend I met while in New England, USA, letting me know that his wife had passed away after a long battle with cancer. They'd spent most of their lives together and while my heart sank in sadness for his loss, I felt it open graciously too. He recognised what they had shared together; something beautiful and true. They'd gone deep in their love and despite leaving the body, as we all do in this world, I feel that she is with him infinitely and pray he can find joy again perhaps also through music given he's a very talented Blues musician. 

So a big lump sits in my throat after what's been a pretty intense week volunteering for Angeles de Medellin. It's not a very long time, there are people here who spend months and years doing this kind of work and I have so much love and respect for those who dedicate their lives to such meaningful work. I don't know if in my lifetime I'll live to see equal opportunities around the world or for these kids but at least this week I've learned one thing that we are all very much equal in: We all live. We all die. 

Whatever we choose to create in that space between; I hope it to be more joyous, accepting, loving and respectful. With a few gay dance moves thrown in for good measure and dreams coming true for those gorgeous little grubby children.

There are some more images here.

on being a citizen not a consumer

"What was said to the rose that made it open was said to me here in my chest." - Rumi

A powerful documentary by an award winning Hollywood director who explores the relationship we have to stuff and what makes us happy. The community and connection between us all. 

happy baby jesus day!

The beautifully talented Katey Brooks recorded this for Bernardo's Children's Charity and its a wonderfully angelic song to feel Christmassy to. Bless.

I've become accustomed to being away at Christmas time and this year I'm quite excited to be experiencing my first Winter in while in New York City. If there's anywhere to be 'Home Alone' - it's got to be here. Last year was a very challenging one for me as it was the first Christmas I'd ever spent totally alone (Buenos Aires).  So much came to surface, nevertheless, little did I know at the time that I would have had the joyous moments that have passed by since then, met the beautiful souls I have on the road and found contentment and gratitude for the real gifts that life offers. So lifting and powerfully revealing. Those realisations are important sometimes.

So I'd like to wish jectaspecta readers a beautiful Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Its a great opportunity to reflect upon the last year and allow oneself to let go of the past and bring oneself in to the NOW. That real gift of being present.  Life can throw some curve balls and they're not always easy to catch and sometimes sadly aren't worth chasing but I sincerely believe one is always where they are meant to be, for their greatest growth. That doesn't mean we can't love and support one another as we face psychological shadows or the very real challenges of living in the world at this time.

Katey Brooks is an incredibly brave and humble UK artist. I love her work and am delighted to share her latest EP which is so powerfully moving and true. Choosing to focus on one's dreams, harnessing talents and working hard on developing and sharing those gifts (rather than taking the path of least resistance) takes a lot of courage and that's one thing Katey Brooks has so much of. Please enjoy her latest EP which you can also buy here for 2.99.

Happy Christmas! May all your wishes and dreams come true.  Be cherished.

man test: save the world

When I was at University, those many years ago, my housemates and I stayed up to watch the American Superbowl. The boys, Jay and Steve, had brought in some beers and Beth and I cooked up food for us and brought along our added bit of lady banter to the late night's gathering.

Given we didn't really know what was happening in the small hours of the morning in this American Football game; we created an even better game to accompany the scene that brought us together.

This was a game of chance involving a giant orange dice. The boys would take it in turns to roll and the girls imposed some naughty rules which went something along the lines of:

1 = man test
2 = remove a piece of clothing
3 = truth
4 = put some make up on
5 = wear a piece of ladies clothing
6 = man test

I remember "Man Test" the most. It ranged from eating soil, snorting vodka, 10 press ups or doing a shot of Tabasco.  It was a bit of 20 year old fun, we had a great night and by the end of it the boys were being rather amusing; Jay ended up naked with a hat over his privates while Steve was wearing a lot of make up.  An amusing memory to reflect upon and giggle.

My father used to say "My House. My Rules" and what a great way to create a mini dictatorship in the family unit. Nevertheless I'll always appreciate his adage "a family that eats together, stays together" however admittedly the moment I was able to be out of the dictatorship, I was.  From University, to London, to Sydney, to now.

For me, the home serves as a beautiful symbol of unity.  

Metaphorically speaking, how wonderful would it be to realise that all the people in the world are our family and the roof has been extended to encompass everything under the sky not just the old man's rooftop.

And if that be the case, I'd love us to throw away the dice and put some real man tests out there rather than getting drunk to football. To encourage us all to step up. To open our eyes to what we have co-created; a world headed towards its own self-destruction. Where nature is plundered and money is worshiped.  Where sex and god are tools for manipulation to buy or hate as opposed to creating loving togetherness and joy.

Marianna Williamson reminded me that perhaps eating soil isn't a great man test anymore, that we can all do our bit to heal ourselves and extend that loving kindness to the people around us, if not the world. That we do not have to live at the mercy of a megalomaniacs fantasy nor behave like badly brought up children.

At this time the great market segment of Baby Boomers are facing their mortality. They also have acquired a lot of wealth in the West and yet, in their older age, there seems to be an acceptance that the 'kids will take care of things' as Western society hides the elderly away (compared to places such as remote India where the feet of the elders are touched as a mark of respect).

Just the other day a lovely mature woman in Woodstock, explained to me how she's relying on 'my generation' to fix things. I was pretty stumped. Everyone is an equal part of this story and boomers have so much to give the world beyond their immediate family that can dramatically change the way we perceive it and the lives of others around the globe.

Much of mankind has emotionally entangled itself with the impermanent, to the 'sins of the body' and not been brave enough to forgive, let go, move on and heal while seeing the bigger picture; this is not a game anymore.

I too feel this need for a 'love revolution' - a united consciousness.  The world needs it.  The disparities have got too wide, our minds too manipulated by greed and our hearts lost in attachment to the impermanent.

I propose a new man test for our home: Save the world.

a good friend. indeed.

I feel pretty blessed that I have some great friends in my life, despite missing them to pieces sometimes as they plot themselves around the globe while I go on gallivants (to see them too if I am lucky). They are my lighthouses as I travel yond seas to the music of the wind.

As my lovely fellow traveler friend Riikka (now training huskies in Greenland) reminded me "It is definitely good to have some lighthouses, but how you weave your way from one to another will be easier to see when you get closer, so do not worry about it too much. Your skills, mind and attitude can take you anywhere!"

I read that happy people wisely surround themselves with happy, positive people who share values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics who encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself and are there to lend a helping hand when needed.

This video hits the nail on the head filmed at The Gutter Bowling (Brooklyn, NYC) and gives me warm tingles (except avenging death - my inner yogini doesn't feel so well aligned with this).

Is time really, REALLY money?!

I'm currently in the consumerist capital of the world. The United States of America. Wooooow. Not only that, but I've been staying in one of the most powerful cities in the world; New York City. This is where its at. O...M...G.

As I meandered the wide streets, laden with yellow cabs and lit up signage, one sign really caught my eye; a painful American paradigm that read TIME IS MONEY.

I have seriously wondered on this idea and I am sure I've got stuck on it given my travels will extend as long as the money in my bank account has funds. I hope like many of the travelers out there I provide a strong insight that one might live abundantly without needing to spend frivolously or be imprisoned by ones own fears. Or at least that even in those moments of nothingness, somethingness will always appear... many of these somethingness moments having lit up my travels in memories that will forever be treasured.

So how, I wonder, is time equated to money? What on Earth is time, or money for that matter, beyond a bench stick for an idea we attach energy to? The advertisement didn't answer that question not even in the small prints for one to grasp. So I got to some points in my limited mind of understanding which has had tendencies to delve to proverbial deep and dark parts of the ocean where the vampire squids live (awesome David Attenborough footage here):

Time scientifically is the movement of objects through space. So time only exists in relation to something else. So does it even exist? Meh.

In Hindu philosophy, "Time is Death" Gasp! So every moment we die a little. I still don't find the connection to money. Money cannot reverse that. Perhaps the 'signs' of it by virtue of cosmetic skin cream... but inevitable decay is the nature of life. Yes morbid and dark but true unless you are Walt Disney.

Then in profound Ms Reynard (aka Lyra Ray) wisdom "The soul doesn't know time". A perfect excuse for someone living perpetually in the present and subsequently struggling at times with her 'time keeping'. I love you Ms Reynard. So perhaps; the soul doesn't know death. Tick. Immortality. An elixir. Alchemy. Absolutely nothing to lose if one wishes to speculate.

Now Freudian goes in to the dualistic forces of Death and Love. I'm going to sit pretty on that point and leave anyone reading this to work out which might be the most powerful or what duality even is and perhaps jump in to a rabbit hole of ah-haaas and oh nooos. Good luck with that. My advice would be to take a wind up flashlight or good SCUBA gear with an extra oxygen tank.

I took these points on board as I pondered on said giant black and white brainwashing sign telling me that 'TIME IS MONEY' with a New York accent in my head.

Which is one more afraid of not having? Here's a big question written in giant marker pen on a piece of scrap cardboard. And how about bringing this paradigm home. Home to a place of family. Of unconditional love. Of true connection, responsibility and understanding.

Keeping it simple.

I am a perfect example of a child brought up with way too many hours of television, Mario Brothers and Tetris, I had nannies and didn't see much of my father busy working to 'earn a living' that despite affording me a really wonderful foundation of education, meant that I also didn't get to spend much time growing up with him. We've made up for this in adult life, thankfully, but when I look at this on a grander scale, when I look at some of the biggest issues that plague the 'developed' world; I see countless children who've grown up dreaming of making lots of money to buy lots of toys and destroy lots of land and exploit lots of people in the process. 

There are way too many powerful naughty boys out there not playing fair with the other children... I won't be surprised if mother nature came and spanked their bottoms.

SPEND TIME NOT MONEY ON YOUR KIDS sings true to my heart. That's what I wish the sign really said. That's the message that perhaps the most powerful city on this planet could be sending to its people.

Money will never, ever, replace the experience of being in the presence and sharing time with a loved one. Sure it might buy an awesome toy to distract one from missing them and even stop them from nagging (brilliant article here), but no amount of money can replace that lovely warm feeling of sharing those treasured moments and memories with the ones you love.

Kahlil Gibran writes it beautifully in The Prophet when he says much more poetically;

And is not time even as love is, undivided and placeless? But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

Embrace every moment with or without money. 

That rainy day may never come.